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The MacScouter's
Big Book of Skits
Compiled by R. Gary Hendra, the MacScouter
gary@macscouter.com, http://www.macscouter.com

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Table of Contents
Title Page Title Page
Introduction 1 Cub Olympics 18
Staging Skits 1 Cub Scout Socks 19
Cub Shop 19
Other Sources of Skits 2
Damn! (or should I say Darn?) 19
The Big Book of Skits 3
Dancing Knee Dolls 20
The Airplane 3
The Dangerous Tent 20
Airplane Short Runway 3
The Dead Body 20
American Folk Tale Skit 3
The Den Mother's Bouquet 20
The Ants 4
Did You Have V-8? 21
Artistic Genius 4
Dinner Special 21
The Great Aug 4
Doctor! Doctor! 21
The Babies & Dads 5
Doctor's Office 22
Backpacking 5
Doggie Doctor 22
A Bad Turn 5
Doggie Doo 22
Balloon Orchestra 5
The Dumb Actors 22
The Baseball Game 6
Easter Bunny 23
Bear Hunt 6
The Echo 23
Bee Sting 6
Echo, again! 23
The Root Beer Commercial 7
Echo Point 24
Bell Ringer #1 7
Elevated Gum 24
Bell Ringer # 2 8
The Elevator 24
Bell Ringer # 3 8
Emergency Room Doctor 24
Be Prepared 8
The Enlarging Machine 24
The Best Spitter In The World 8
Eskimo Pie 25
The Better Thief 8
The Failed Reporter 25
The Bicycle Shop 9
The Fire 26
Big Game Hunting 9
Firebuilding 26
Big Itch 9
The Firing Squad 26
The Bigger Jerk 9
Version 2: 26
The Biggest Turkey 9
Fish Market 26
Black Bart 10
Fishin' 27
The Blanket Tossing Team 10
Fishing 27
Blindfold 10
Fishing on a Park Bench 27
Bonfire 10
Fishing Success 27
Border Crossing 10
The Fishing Trip 28
Brain Shop 11
Flasher 28
Brain Transplant 11
Flea 28
The Briefcase 12
The Flea Circus 28
A Brotherhood of Scouting 12
Flora the Flea 29
The Bubble Gum on the Street 13
Fly in the Soup 29
The Bubble Gum in the Studios 13
Flying High 29
Buffalo Stories 13
Fly in the Soup 29
Bus Driver 14
Food, Water & Mirror on the Sahara 30
C.P.R. 14
The Fortune Teller 30
Camel Patrol 14
Four Leaf Clover 30
Camp Coffee Sketch 14
The Four Seasons 30
Can You Do This? 15
Fred the Trained Flea 31
The Candy Shop 15
Friends of Years 31
The Candy Store 15
The Frightened Hunter 31
Candy Store 15
Game Show 31
Candy Store (variation) 16
Gathering of the Nuts I 32
Change Underwear 16
Gathering of the Nuts II 32
Chewing Gum 16
The General Store 32
Chin Faces 16
The Ghost of Midnight 32
Climb That 16
Ghost With One Black Eye 33
The Compass 17
Ghostcatchers 33
The Complaining Monk 17
Giant Worm 33
Contagious Disease Ward 17
Glass of Water 33
Court Case 18
Go Cart 33
Court Scene 18
Gone Fishin' 34
Crazy Charlie 18
The Good Samaritan 34
Cub Cookout 18
The MacScouter's Big Book of Skits -- ii -- January 1997

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Table of Contents
Title Page Title Page
Good Soup 34 Lobster Tail 53
Granny! Wake Up! 35 The Loon Hunt 53
Granny's Candy Store 35 Lost Item around Campfire 54
The Greatest Spitter in the World 35 The Lost Lollipop 54
Grease 35 The Lost Quarter 54
Green Side Up! Green Side Up! 36 Lunch Break 54
The Greyhound Bus 36 Mad Reporter 55
The Growing Machine 36 The Magic Bandanna 55
The Hair Cut Machine 36 The Magic Doctor's Chair 55
Hairy Hamburger 37 Martian Mamma 56
Harlem Globetrotters 37 Measurement Problem 56
Have You Seen my Belly Button? 37 Medical Genius 56
The Heart Attack 37 Military Genius 56
Heaven's Gate 38 Mixed Body Acting 56
Herman, The Trained Flea 38 Mixed Up Magic 56
Hiccup for Me 38 The Motorcycle Gang 57
The Highest Tree climber in the World 38 The Motorcycle Shop 57
A Hot Meal! 39 Mr. Kerplunk 57
How do I do That? 39 Musical Genius 58
How to Make the Team 40 Musical Toilet Seat Salesman 58
How to Wash An Elephant 40 Norbert 58
I Gotta Go Wee 41 Napoleon's Last Farewell 59
Igor 41 The New Badge 59
I'm Gonna Get You! 42 The New Car 59
I'm Russian! 42 New Saw 60
The Important Papers 42 News Flash! 60
The Important Meeting 42 No Rocket Scientist 61
In the Furniture Store 42 Nosebleed 61
The Infantry 43 No Skit 61
The Injury 43 Nutty Fisherman 61
The Inspection 43 The Nurses 62
Intelligence 43 Offensive Bus Passenger 62
In the Furniture Store 44 Oh-Wa-Ta-Goo-Siam 62
The Invisible Bench 44 The Old Gum 62
Is a Train Passing Today? 44 Old Movie Scene 62
Is Captain Kidd Afraid of Himself? 45 Old Socks 62
Is It Time Yet? 45 The Olde Lighthouse 63
I Gotta Go Weee! 45 Olympic Drama 63
J.C. Penney 46 OOOOOO A Bug! 63
Join the Army! 46 The Operation 63
Joke Teller 46 The Outhouse in the Yangtze River 63
Jumbo Burgers 47 The Outhouse Sketch 64
The Jump 47 The Outlaw 64
Karate Orientale 47 Over the Cliff 64
Keep Canada Beautiful Contest 48 The Page (The Skit) 65
Knot Demonstration 48 Painting the Walls 65
The King's Raisins 48 Panther Tracks 65
Knot Demonstration 48 The Parachute 66
The Land Shark 49 The Party Warehouse 66
The Lawn Mower I 49 Pass the Pepper 66
The Lawnmower II 49 Patience, Jackass, Patience! 66
Learning English 50 Peanuts 67
Learning the Alphabet 50 Peanuts in the Lake 67
Let Me Have It! 50 Pencils 68
Letters from Home 51 Pet Shop 69
Lie Detector 51 Pickin' Cotton 69
The Lighthouse Sketch 51 Pickpocket 70
The Lighthouse 52 Pickpockets 70
Lightening Strike 52 Pickpockets #2 70
Lights, Camera, Action 52 Pie in the Face 70
Litter Hurts 52 The Pilfered Warehouse 70
Little Green Ball 53 The Pirate Family 71
Listen at the Wall 53 Plane Landing 71
Living Xylophone 53 Play Ball 71
The MacScouter's Big Book of Skits -- iii -- January 1997

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Table of Contents
Title Page Title Page
PLC Meeting 71 A Talking Martian! 90
Poison Spring 72 Tankety Tank 90
The Poor Excuses 72 Tenting 91
Pop Commercial 72 Thar's a Bear 91
Post Office / King's Royal Paper 72 There's a Bear! 91
Potted Plant 73 The Thinker 91
Presents for the Teacher 73 The Thirsty Donkey 92
Prisoner 73 The Thirsty Fisherman 92
The Professor's Address 73 Three Against 1000 92
Puppy in the Box 74 Three Rivers 92
A Quiet Day 74 Three Rivers II 93
Raisin 74 Three Scoops 93
Real Thing 74 Ticket Line 94
Reggie and the Colonel 75 Time on the Park Bench 94
The Restaurant 75 Timothy Eaton 94
Restaurant Minutes 75 Toothache 94
Rise, Walk, and Kill, Igor 76 Toothpaste 94
River Run 76 Tracks 95
Rowing 76 The Trained Caterpillar 95
Salesman 76 The Train Skit 95
Saloon 77 The Trees 95
Sarge And The Private 77 Trick or Treat 96
School's on Fire 77 Trimming the Christmas Tree 96
Scientific Genius 77 Turkey Contest 96
The Scout Uniform 77 The Twelve Days of Christmas 96
Scoutmaster's Brains 78 Twist Mouth Family 97
Scoutmaster's Gift 78 Ugliest Man in the World (or Bad Breath) 97
Scoutmaster's Saw 78 Ugly Baby 97
The Screwy Navel 79 Up Harold 98
Shape Up! 79 Upside Down Singers 98
The Short Runway 79 Vampire Snack 98
The Shrimpy Boxer 80 The Viper is Coming 98
Shut Up! 80 The Wall 98
The Siberian Chicken Farmer 80 The Waiter 99
Sidewalk Climbing 81 Waiter! 99
Singer 82 The Waiting Room 99
Six Wise Travelers 82 Washington's Farewell 99
The Sleep Walker 82 Water, Water! 100
Slug Trainers 82 We Ain't Got the Money for the Mortgage on the Farm 100
The Smart Scout 82 We Hit! 100
Smoke Signals 82 The Weather Man 101
The Sneeze 82 The Well-Trained Elephant 101
Soldier In the Battlefield 83 What the Heck Was That? 101
Someone Chanted Evening 83 What Time is it? 102
Sounds of the Lost Scoutmaster 83 What's the Problem? 102
The Sounds of the Wilderness 83 What's 2+2? 102
Sour Notes 84 Who Sneezed? 103
Space Derby Skit. 84 Why Are You Late? 103
The Special Papers 84 Worlds Greatest Pitcher 103
Spelling Contest 85 The World's Greatest Spitter 104
The Split Ball 85 The World's Ugliest Man 104
SPL's Too Tough To Be Tasty 86 What a Day 104
Spring 86 The Wrong Skit 104
Spring is Sprung! 86 You Don't Say! 105
Star Gazing 87 You Need a Tie, Sir 105
St. Peter 87 You've Broken the Rules! 105
The Statue Warehouse 87 Yukon Winter 105
Statues in the Park 88 49...49...49 107
The Strange Trees 88 The 5th Floor 107
Submarine 89 7 Jerks on the Line 107
Submarine Patrol 89 Walk-ons, Run-ons and Other Shorts 109
Submarine Training 89 The Announcement 109
The Successful Fisherman 89 Going to Court 109
Super Clutz 89 Beam Me Up 110
The MacScouter's Big Book of Skits -- iv -- January 1997

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Table of Contents
Title Page Title Page
Smoke Signals 110
Little Brother 110
Squirrels 110
Its All Around Me! 110
Leaving 110
Pulling String 110
All Over Me 110
Throwing Up 111
Fire Drill 111
Alien 111
The Ruler 111
I'm a Rabbit 111
Missed 111
Pop Quiz 111
Wait! Wait! 111
What a Day 112
The Nutty Fisherman 112
Bee Sting 112
Finale 112
The MacScouter's Big Book of Skits -- v -- January 1997

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Introduction
The MacScouter's Big Book of Skits is the result of compiling skits from various Internet Scouting sources,
and lots of creative people. This is the first major revision of the Big Book, incorporating more than 150 new skits.
At last count there are 377 skits in the Big Book -- this may be the biggest collection of skits in the world. With a
little luck, the book will be updated irregularly, as more material comes in.
The Big Book started with the Scouts-L Skits FAQ, and a few other small compilations of skits. People have
sent me individual skits and groups of skits. My sincere thanks to Merl Whitebook, the most prolific contributor to
this volume. My thanks also to Hans Hussman, Bob Jenkins, the US Scouting Service Project, the Australian
Scouting Association, and a cast of other characters.
R. Gary Hendra, The MacScouter, January 1997
Staging Skits
by Merl Whitebook, adapted by the MacScouter
Skits are usually never longer than 3 to 5 minutes and are ideally somewhere around 90 seconds.
Sources of your skits are imagination, Leader magazine, jokes from books, Reader's Digest, campfires, kids,
and other leaders, and of course the MacScouter's Big Book of Skits.
Watch out for scratch skits from the kids, because they usually aren't funny, are too long and don't make any
sense, not to mention the kids forget what they're supposed to say and do. A real bore to watch. Which leads to
the next point -- reserve the right to edit or veto the kids' skits, within reason of course. You've got to avoid
swearing, hitting, and stupid, no-sense skits. Though I have seen some original beauties from kids, as well as
some wonderful modifications from them, both of which through little if any leader intervention.
Generally, a good way to get the kids involved in a good skit is to provide them with a choice of about two or
three skits and let them choose a tried and proven skit, then help them modify it to the number of kids available
and the theme.
Rehearse the skit beforehand. It will increase the kids' confidence and can help to avoid whispering, fumbling,
amnesia, arguing about who says what, and all sorts of problems.
This task is impossible, but essential to work on. The boys have to speak up so that everyone can hear them.
Who cares how good the joke is if you can't hear it. That's where rehearsing comes in handy.
Cue cards can be useful for the kids so that they can remember their lines. Make poster size cards with large,
simple writing. A far out idea, but can be useful if the kids can read. And hey! It may unintentionally turn out to be
the gag of the weekend! (How about a skit involving cue cards, and the punch line being "But Sir! We can't
read!")
Besides the variations mentioned, most of these skits lend themselves rather well to variation of some sort,
allowing for easy use throughout a variety of different themes. I saw "The Beer Commercial" originally as a filming
of Romeo and Juliet, "The Dumb Actors" can be a filming of any theme related scene, "Peanuts in the Lake"
originally had flat out refusals from the relatives, but was modified for an environmental theme, and "Rise, Walk,
and Kill, Igor" can have a Scout Troop selling fertilizer, Dr. Mad's Grandmother visiting and the cable company
coming by to install a new TV.
Of course, some skits such as "You've Broken the Rules!," "Nosebleed," to some extent "Trimming the
Christmas Tree" and "The Infantry is Coming!" are a little more situation specific and depend on prescribed
scenery and situations to get the joke done properly. But when possible, decide what you need and then change a
skit, even if only minor details mentioned can be changed to fit. The scripts aren't cast in stone.
Avoid rancid skits such as Veech Boton, Ugliest Man in the World, Is it Time Yet?, Nosebleed, and any skit
you or your kids have done three times in row (or three times in the past year.) Yes, the kids do love these skits
and want to do them again and again, but they become bored sooner or later and start to complain "Not another
campfire..." or they call out "I know the joke! He's got a nosebleed!" So try a new skit -- it's just as fun and will
improve greatly the enjoyability of your campfires.
Watch out for using or modifying skits that touch on sensitive topics. What used to be considered acceptable
jokes no longer are, such as ethnic or handicapped targets. Keep to topics of common ground.
In your skits, a volunteer is usually a pre-selected person who you seem to pluck out of the audience, but of
course is planted there. In a pinch, you can just choose your volunteers at random and give them instructions as
part of the act. A victim, on the other hand, is a person who is chosen at random or pre- selected (without their
knowledge) to be the butt of the joke. Of course, discretion is advised. Try your good humored DC or that Beaver
leader who just won't run out of energy.
The MacScouter's Big Book of Skits -- 1 -- January 1997

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Have a cheermaster. A CM is someone who keeps track of group songs, yells, cheers and skits. Over time,
you can start weeding out the good from the bad from the seen too many times and you can get quite a collection -
- here's mine! With many sources you can pick up as many as you desire.
Build up a repertoire of one man skits, or, if you have one of those friends who's been with you in your
Scouting endeavors since you were a Scout and probably will always be with you till beyond the grave, act as a
team and memorize some skits that without even a moment's notice you can use to fill in a space. There are a
number of skits listed here that require only one or two participants or whose "volunteers" can usually be chosen at
random.
Examples -- "The Bubble Gum in the Studios;" "Flora the Flea;" "The Bigger Jerk;" "The Highest Tree Climber"
(just have the person talk to himself); "7 Jerks on the Line;" "Spring is Sprung;" "The Viper" (just two people, same
one running in over and over again); "You Don't Say;" "Highest Jumper in the World;" "The Well-Trained
Elephant;" "Food, Water and Mirror on the Sahara;" "You Need a Tie, Sir;" "A Hot Meal;" "Brain Shop;" "Pet Shop;"
"The Ghost of Midnight;" "I'm Gonna Get You!;" "News Flash!;" "Learning the Alphabet;" "The Wrong Skit;" and
"The Ghost With One Black Eye."
Make your skits enjoyable!
Other Sources of Skits
There are a few books I know on skits, yells and campfires:
The "BSA Cub Scout Leader How-To Book". It is built to help the cub scout pack and den leaders running
programs that kids enjoy. A section of 15 pages is dedicated to skits, yells and applauses. ISBN 0-8395-3831-6.
"Creative Campfires" is another fine publication. Half of the book contains songs, and the rest is crammed with
skits, stories, yells and tips to set up an entertaining campfire. (Sorry - no ISBN, but it can be ordered worldwide
from the BSA Supply Division - Fax +1-704-588-5822).
"Campfire Stories....Things That go Bump in the Night" by William Forgey, M.D. contains 21 campfire stories,
with large typeface summary of each. Also includes the author's suggestions for how to be successful at telling
campfire stories. ISBN 0-934802-23-8 published by ICS Books. Approximate price: $10US $13CA
The MacScouter's Big Book of Skits -- 2 -- January 1997

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The Big Book of Skits
The Airplane
7-Scouts acts as the pilot, co-pilot and radioman on an airliner. 4 other scouts are on the wings as the
engines, on the wings of the plane.
The pilot announces to co-pilot that engine one has failed. Engine one (ham this up) sputters, makes noise
and dies, Co-pilot instructs radioman to inform tower and tell them they will be arriving 15 minutes late(radioman
radios tower and repeats message). Soon after engine two fails, repeat the process again but this time tell the
tower they will be 30 minutes late. Then engine three with more panic tell the tower we will be 1 hour late. Finally
the pilot announces the fourth and final engine has failed. The radioman then says: "Boys I'd better radio the
tower, we may be up here all day!"
Airplane Short Runway
Cast: 2 scouts (If more are desired, they can be passengers, with suitable sound effects and actions. Seating
for pilot and co-pilot, and for passengers if required and a compass.
Announcer: This scene is on board a very low budget airline.
Pilot: Well, are we anywhere near the airport, co-pilot ? Co-Pilot: (peering out the window) I don't know... I see
lights over there to the port. That's likely it. Bring 'er around and have a look. Pilot: (lurching plane hard to the
left) Boy, I can't tell. I wish the company would buy us some instruments. Co-Pilot: (pulling compass from pocket)
Oh, I've got my trusty compass and the sun went down about 20 minutes ago, so we've got to be on course.
(Excited) Look, see that spot down there, that must be it. Pilot: Okay, here we go. Give me 20 degrees flaps, I'm
going in. (Puts plane into a nose dive, sound effects.) Pilot: This is going to be tough. Give me more flaps, cut
back the engines. (Louder) More flaps, less throttle ! Co-Pilot: (Appropriate actions and sounds, acting panicky.)
Pilot: QUICK, cut the engines, give me brakes. MORE BRAKES ! Both: (Sighs of relief) We're down, we made it !
Pilot: Boy that was a short runway ! Co-Pilot: (Looking right, then left) Yep, and wide too !
American Folk Tale Skit
Narrator: America's history is full of colorful characters. I'm sure you've heard of many that you couldn't even
begin to count them. But we also know that much of our country's history wasn't written down until many years
had passed. Memories fade as time goes by. Now...we're not calling our historians liars...but...things were not
always the way they told us. Take, for instance, the burro express rider.
Rider: (enters pulling the burro) "Come on Speedy, those Cub Scouts at Southside are waiting for their Male.
Narrator: "Excuse me sir? Why do you call your burro Speedy?
Rider: Why, this here is the fastest burro in the west.
Narrator: "How fast is he?"
Rider: "Why, he's so fast he can dance his shoes off! (Burro dances, and removes his shoes and tosses
them into the crowd and they leave.)
Narrator: And there's always the legend of Rip Van Winkle. It's really quite unlikely that he could sleep for
forty whole years.
Rip Van W.: (entering) Sleep? Did I hear someone mention sleep. Oh, I'd love to get some sleep!
Narrator: Have a hard day Rip?
Rip Van W.: Day, day he says! Days is more like it. Ever since those Cub Scouts came to town, I haven't
slept a wink. Their Den Leaders keep knocking things over and tripping over things. And you should hear them
laugh.
Narrator: Poor Rip, I guess he could use forty years sleep now.
Chef: (entering eating an ice cream cone, and looking over and under and around things, saying...."Nope, not
here, etc. and "I know it's around here somewhere." Continuing to look.)
Narrator: Boy that ice cream looks good. Where can I get some?
Chef: Down the road at Custard's Last Stand.
Narrator: What are you looking for?
Chef: A mine.
Narrator: You mean the Lost Dutchman Mine?
Chef: No the lost Italian Mine of course. I hear they have the greatest pizza.
The MacScouter's Big Book of Skits -- 3 -- January 1997

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Narrator: There was a guy over there who was talking about pizza earlier. I think his name was Wild
Bill.....(hiccup) Wild Bill........(hiccup)....
Chef: Yeah, I know him, Wild Bill Hiccup - Hiccup...(leave the room)
The Ants
Characters: 6 to 8 Cub Scouts
Props: Paper sacks
Setting: Skit opens with boys standing together in a backyard. Cardboard cutout trees and bushes could be
used.
1st Cub: Gee, there's nothing to do.
2nd Cub: Yeah, I know.
3rd Cub: Hey, let's have a backyard picnic.
All: Yeah!
4th Cub: But it's going to rain.
1st Cub: I don't think so. If it does, we can eat in the house.
2nd Cub: I'll bring the potato chips.
3rd Cub: I'll bring the hot dogs.
4th Cub: I'll bring the hot dog buns.
5th Cub: I'll bring the drinks.
6th Cub: And I'll bring something special!
(All walk offstage and come back carrying sacks)
2nd Cub: Here are the chips.
3rd Cub: Here are the hot dogs.
4th Cub: Here are the hot dog buns.
5th Cub: Here are the drinks.
6th Cub: (Drops his sack) Oh, no!
5th Cub: What's wrong?
6th Cub: I brought the ants!!
Artistic Genius
The scene is an art show where judges are inspecting several canvases are displayed. They comment on the
brightness, color, technique, that is used on the different pictures. They select one for the prize and comment
additionally on the genius, imagination, and the beauty of the picture. The artist is called up and the winning
picture is shown to him. The painter exclaims, "Oh, my goodness, that got in by mistake. That's the canvas that I
clean my brushes on.
The Great Aug
Important Guy: "OK, Aug, I want you to sell these pencils."
Aug: "Pen-solls"
Important Guy: "That's right, Aug. Now, when you see someone coming down the street, I want
you to tell them what you're selling."
Aug: "Pen-solls"
Important Guy: "Yes, Aug. Be more enthusiastic about it!"
Aug, waving his hands in the air: "Pen-Solls!!!"
Important Guy: "Very good, Aug. Now, people will want to buy your pencils, and they'll ask how much they
are. They come in $2, $5, and $10 packs. Got that?"
Aug: "Pen-solls?"
Important Guy: "No: Two, Five, Ten."
Aug: "Two .. Five ... Ten!!!"
Important Guy: "I think you've got that. Now Aug, one more thing. Someone might ask why they should buy
your pencils. If they ask that, Aug, I want you to tell them this. 'If you don't, somebody else will'".
Aug: "If you don't ... somebody else will!"
Important Guy: "Very good. Now, get out there and sell pencils!"
The important guy wanders offstage, and Aug wanders to the other side of the stage. A man on the street
approaches Aug. Aug runs to him waving his hands.
The MacScouter's Big Book of Skits -- 4 -- January 1997

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Aug, in his face: "Pen-Solls!!!"
Man on street: "Hey, you're a real jerk! How many people have you done this to?"
Aug: "Two, Five, Ten!"
Man on steed: "You're really asking for a punch in the mouth, buddy."
Aug: "If you don't .. somebody else will!"
Man on street punches Aug, who falls flat, that's the end of the skit.
The Babies & Dads
Cast: Doctor, three Dads
Setting: Hospital
Doctor: Mr. Thompson, congratulations. You're the proud father of twins!
Thompson: What a coincidence -- I come from Two Mountains!
Later --
Doctor: Mr. Smith, you now have triplets!
Smith: That's quite astonishing! I come from Three Rivers!
Third father faints; doctor revives him.
Doctor: Mr. Smart -- what's wrong? Your wife hasn't even given birth yet!
Smart: I come from Thousand Islands!
Backpacking
Two scouts lay down on sleeping bags on the stage. Two other scouts, pretending to be bikers "ride" over to
one of the scouts who is on top of the bag and proceed to beat him up. They do anything they want to make it
look like they have hurt him. They see him moving and "ride" off.
The scout who just got beat up turns to his buddy and says, "Two bikers just came through the woods and
beat me up." His buddy turns to him and says, "It was just a dream, go back to sleep."
This happens two more times, with the bikers beating up the guy, but on the third time, something different
happens. The guy who gets beat up turns to his buddy and tells him what happened again. This time his friend
says, "Fine, if it will make you feel better, I'll switch places with you."
Now the bikers come back and go up to the same sleeping bag again, and one turns to the other and says,
"This guy's had enough, let's get the other guy."
-- Thanks to Kevin Garibaldi
A Bad Turn
Akela: "Now, (Cubs name), you know you should always do Good Turns."
1st Cub: I tried, honest!
Akela: OK
Each Cub enters and says similar things to Akela
Last Cub: (carrying a small frying pan with a "pancake" in it) I did a good turn! (flips pancake over and catches
it in pan). But you should see the mess in the kitchen! (other Cubs look ashamed)
Balloon Orchestra
The players in the orchestra each hold a balloon. They blow up their balloons in unison, then let out the air in
a squeak at a time to the rhythm of some easily recognized rhythm such as "Blue Danube" or "Jingle Bells". To
end the skit all fill their balloons with air and let go at the directors signal.
The MacScouter's Big Book of Skits -- 5 -- January 1997

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The Baseball Game
This is great fun in warm weather at a campfire, and it takes a little practice for the perpetrators. There is
plenty of room for variation, depending on what the Scouts can imagine and how the volunteers react at the time.
As usual, the Scapegoat gets wet.
Preparation
You will need an Announcer and a Pitcher, but the Batters will be volunteers. The first Volunteer should be
told what is happening ahead of time, so that his performance shows others how it's done. Set up a sheet a
backdrop. Two Scouts hide behind it, one with a flashlight and the other with a bucket of water (but be sure that
the audience does not see the bucket). The flashlight is held against the sheet to simulate the ball. The
movement of the light is the key to the whole skit.
A baseball bat or a thick stick is needed for the batter, and a baseball glove for the Pitcher. Use a roll of
canvas and a stick (or something similar) to simulate the sound of the ball hitting the catcher's glove (done by a
Scout behind the sheet). If it is dark, have two strong flashlights shining on the Pitcher and Batter.
The Skit
The Announcer comes on stage and tells the audience that there will be a baseball pitching demonstration.
He introduces the Pitcher as the greatest pitcher of all time, who will show us his famous specialty pitches. After a
buildup about how great the Pitcher is, the Announcer positions the Pitcher at one end of the sheet.
The Announcer asks for members of the audience to volunteer to try to hit this famous pitcher's best pitches.
The first volunteer is given the bat and placed at the other end of the sheet. The Announcer explains that the
Pitcher will throw one pitch, and the Batter must do his best to hit the ball.
The Pitcher winds up and pretends to throw, as the Announcer narrates ("He's set. He winds up. There's the
pitch!" The Scout behind the screen moves his light rapidly down the sheet. The Announcer yells, "Fast ball!"
The Batter swings hard. We hear the sound of the ball hitting the catcher's mitt. The Announcer says, "A strike!
You're Out!" The Batter returns to his seat.
Another Batter is recruited. This time the Announcer calls out a curve ball, which curves wildly across the
sheet. The Batter is again called out. The process continues with a knuckleball and a screwball.
Finally, the Announcer introduces the famous Pitcher's dreaded Secret Pitch. He asks for a special volunteer,
of especially outstanding baseball ability and unusual courage, to try to hit this pitch. A Scapegoat is volunteered
by the Announcer and encouraged to come up.
The Batter is carefully placed, and the ball is pitched. As it comes to the Batter, the Announcer cries, "Watch
out! It's a spitball!"
His warning comes too late, as water cascades over the sheet onto the Batter.
Bear Hunt
A variation on A Talking Martian! and Saloon.
Cast: Bear, two hunters
Setting: The woods
#1: (Whispering) Ah! There's a bear! I can shoot it and I'll have my take for the day! (Bang! And the bear
falls down.) Well, I'll go get some rope to drag it.
#2: No! It's mine!
#1: Hey! I shot that bear myself. It's clearly mine.
#2: Look. You couldn't have shot that bear if I didn't drive us here.
#1: Well, I've got news for you. I just killed that bear. It's mine.
#2: And another thing, ...
The two continue arguing when all of a sudden, the bear rises, growls, and frightens the two hunters away.
Bee Sting
1st Scout "OOOOOUCH, OOOOOOH, OOOOOUCH"
2nd Scout "What's the matter with you?"
1st Scout "A bee's stung my thumb!"
2nd Scout "Try putting some cream on it then."
1st Scout "But the bee will be miles away by this time."
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--- PAGE 12 ---
The Root Beer Commercial
Cast: Actor(s), Director, Cameraman, Others in a studio
Setting: Studio
Director: Okay, People! Let's get going!
Cameraman: But Sir!
Director: No interruptions! Action!
Actor, speaking in a dull voice, does a commercial for Scout Root Beer, talking about its great taste, made
from dishwater and leftover porridge, and lots of the special ingredient, "Hop to it," which the Scout leader often
said, from Scout camp when ...
Director: Cut! That sounded like you don't like the stuff! Sound sincere!
Okay! Let's try it again!
Cameraman: But Sir!
Director: No buts! Action!
Actor begins again, appropriately sincere, and there are the usual interruptions by the director, saying it's too
fast, too slow, whispers into the actor's ear(who then checks his zipper) until finally, everything goes smoothly. All
the while, the Cameraman keeps on interrupting the Director at the same time.
Director: Cut! And Print! That was fantastic! Let's get out of here!
Cameraman: But Sir! We don't have any film!
Bell Ringer #1
Props: Coat with football or wadded clothing under it for the Hunchback, hat or nightstick for Gendarme.
Announcer: The Hunchback of Notre Dame has decided to retire, and has place an ad in the Paris Times for
someone to come and learn how to ring the bells.
Effects: (Knock, knock, knock)
Hunchback: (Gravely voice) Oh, somebody must be here about my job. I'll go down and see. (Goes 'round
and 'round the campfire, as if going down the bell tower, bent over due to hunch.)
Effects : (Knock, knock, knock)
Hunchback: (Angrily) I'm coming, I'm coming. There's a lot of stairs here. (Arrives at and opens the door.)
Hunchback: Yeah ! What do you want ?
Applicant: I'm here about the bell ringer's job.
Hunchback: All right ! Come on up and I'll see if you can do the job. (Begins to go up (the other way around)
followed by the applicant.)
Applicant: Boy, the ceiling is not very high here, is it ?
Hunchback: Listen, you go up and down these stairs 20 times a day for 45 years and you just learn to stay
bent over. Hey, did you close that door, didn't you ?
Applicant: I don't know. I don't remember.
Hunchback: Well, we gotta go down and keep it locked, can't run up the church's fuel bill. (Both turn around
and go back.)
Hunchback: That's the first thing you gotta learn. Keep the door closed. Up and down these stairs, that's the
hard part. (Arriving at door) O.K., so now you're here, close the door.
Applicant: (Closes door) How are the benefits in this job ?
Hunchback: (Both going back up) Well, it has it's ups and downs. The Church board will buy you ear plugs
every six months and a new bottle of bell polish once a year (Finally arriving at the bell) All right, now you stand
over there, and I'll show you how it's done. First you grab the bell here and push it out very hard (steps back and
follows path of bell out and back) then the bell comes back on it's own. That's all there is to it. Do you think you
can do that ?
Applicant: Sure ! (does the action with the bell, but does not step back, is hit by bell and falls back, to the
ground)
Hunchback: Oh my gosh ! He's fallen 15 stories to the sidewalk. I'd better get down there. (Goes 'round and
'round until he reaches the ground)
(Crowd enters mumbling, stops astonished at body)
Gendarme : (Entering, calls to Hunchback) Hey you ! Do you know this guy ? (Rolls body over with foot)
Hunchback: No, but his face sure rings a bell !
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--- PAGE 13 ---
Bell Ringer # 2
(The trick with this skit is to do it the night after doing Bell Ringer #1, and to do everything exactly the same -
perhaps with a little more 'hamming it up')
(When the Applicant arrives the Hunchback says:)
Hunchback: You look just like the guy who was here yesterday.
Applicant: Oh, that was my twin brother.
(Revert to the original dialog again. The audience will think it's getting a re-run and prepare itself for a
'groaner' of a cheer. When they hear the ending, you'll get a great reaction.)
(Carry on with dialog, except for the last line.)
Hunchback: No, but he's a dead ringer for the guy who was here yesterday !
Bell Ringer # 3
(To be used ONLY when Bell Ringer #1 and #2 have been used.)
Props: Rain slickers, blanket, and Gendarme gear from above.
(Two players enter in rain slickers holding blanket between them like a jumping net. The jig and jog around
the performing area.)
Gendarme : (Entering) Hey, what are you guys doing ?
Fireman #1: Well, the last two nights some guy has jumped out of that bell tower, and we came to catch him !
Be Prepared
First scout walks to center of stage, stands to attention, salutes and says, "BE PREPARED." This is repeated
by three other scouts. When they are all standing side by side, a loud motor horn or explosion is let off behind the
audience.
The scouts then all say, 'WE TOLD YOU TO BE PREPARED'
The Best Spitter In The World
The key performer is the Catcher, who must wave around a can of water without spilling. He simulates the
spit hitting the can by tapping on the can with his finger. He will need to practice so that he does not spill, does not
show the audience that there is water in the can, and can be heard but not seen when he taps the can.
The catcher sits quietly in the audience. The can of water is on the stage, but not obvious.
A Scout loudly proclaims himself as The Best Spitter In The World. He boasts about his spitting ability, saying
that he can spit farther than anyone else. Other Scouts, who have been planted at the back of the audience,
challenge him to prove it, saying that they do not believe him. The audience takes up the cry.
The Spitter agrees and asks for someone from the audience to catch for him, just to prove his ability. The
Catcher volunteers, acting as if he expects to be the scapegoat.
The Spitter explains that he will stand about 20 feet apart. He will spit, and the Catcher will catch the spit, just
to prove the distance and accuracy. The Catcher reacts with horror, "I'm not going to touch your spit!" The Spitter
is understanding, notices the can, and offers it as something to catch with. The Catcher agrees with obvious
relief.
They set up a short distance apart. The Spitter winds up and spits. The catcher reaches up and catches with
a solid thump.
The Spitter takes a bow, but the audience is not impressed. They say anyone can do that, do something
harder. They back off and repeat the performance from a greater distance. Again, the audience yells at him.
After several tries, the Spitter claims that he can spit all the way around the world! The audience reaction is
predictable. They set up; the Spitter spits; the Catcher ducks, waits, moves the pan around, and catches it.
Now the planted Scouts yell that the Spitter is a fake! They say that he couldn't really spit all around the world.
The Spitter says, "Oh, yeah? Show them."
The Catcher turns and throws the water into the crowd.
The Better Thief
Cast: 2 Scouts
There are two scouts, they each say, "I'm the better thief."
"No I'm the better thief."
Then one says, "Wait, lets have a contest, we will walk past each other three times and who ever steals the
best thing wins."
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--- PAGE 14 ---
The scouts then walk past each other twice pulling out objects such as knife, watch, glasses, etc.
Finally on the third pass, the first scout says, "I've got your wallet, ha, beat that!"
The second Scout looks around nervously then says, "You've got my wallet, well in that case you would win,
but ... I've got you're underwear!" And waves a pair of shorts in the air.
The Bicycle Shop
(The scene begins with three players on their hands and knees, in a row, as bicycles.)
Shop Owner: Well, there we are, three brand new bicycles all set up for sale.
Customer : (Entering) Hi. I'd like to buy a bicycle.
Shop Owner: Sure thing. Why don't you try them on for size ?
(Customer sits on the first bike and it falls down. The second is too big, while the third is too small.)
Customer : I sure like the first one, let me try it again.
Shop Owner: Why not ? (Setting up bike again) There you are, it's all set up again. (Customer sits on it, and
again it falls down.)
Customer : I don't know. I really like this one but it keeps falling down. I'm afraid it's not made well enough.
Shop Owner: Our bicycles are all very well made. It was just assembled this morning, and it may need a little
adjustment. Let me get some help.
(A volunteer is chosen from the audience, who is instructed to hold one 'wheel' of the now upright bicycle.)
Customer : (Sitting on the bike) That's perfect now. What was the problem ?
Shop Owner: Oh, we just need a big nut to hold it together !
Big Game Hunting
Two to four hunters talking together each says that he is packing a heavier and more powerful gun to shoot
with. The first starts out with a small handgun and the last ending up with a very powerful rifle, shotgun, whatever.
Two others come over who have overheard the hunter and want to settle a bet. Are the hunters going after wolves
or moose. One of the hunters relies," "Why no, we are going after mosquitoes!!"
Big Itch
Cast: Guy, 4 People on lunch break
Setting: Park Bench
Guy is sitting on park bench.
Guy: I'm waiting for my girlfriend. I hope she comes soon.
(Luncher #1 sits on bench and moves him over. #2 sits on end and they move over, further pushing guy. #3
comes, and #4 comes, each in turn pushing the guy a little until he falls off. Really annoyed, he starts to scratch
himself a little, then a little more then all over. Lunchers look at each other, start scratching a little bit then
hurriedly leave.)
Guy: (Sitting on bench again) Works all the time!
The Bigger Jerk
A simple, one person skit that is great for those loose moments in a campfire.
Cast: 1 Person, log (or imaginary mower), "Volunteer," Victim
Person: (Groans and grunts as he's bent over carrying "heavy" mower.) Uhh. (Lets it down.) These old
models, I tell you. They are so heavy, and they don't work well. Maybe I should buy a new mower this week.
Well, let's get going. (Pulls rip cord to start, but it won't start. Makes appropriate sputtering noises. Tries again
and again. Maybe get a "volunteer" to help. Again, no success. Get your victim to try, and on first try, it sputters
to great life!) I guess it just needed a bigger jerk!
The Biggest Turkey
An alternate ending follows the regular skit.
Cast: Box or suitable covering, Person in Box, Announcer, Victim, regular and serving spoons, stick and log,
paper and book, rubber chicken, small cue card
Setting: Circus, Boardwalk, Technology Show
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--- PAGE 15 ---
Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen! To demonstrate my enlarging machine, I will need a volunteer! (Get your
victim.) I need you to help me while I explain what is going on. Now, look at what this machine can do! Please,
will you put this spoon into the machine? (He does, and out comes the serving spoon, noises.) Isn't that amazing,
ladies and gentlemen! Now watch. (Victim puts in stick, and log comes out.) My goodness, something to heat
your home with! This is amazing! And please put in this piece of paper. (Book comes out.) Even I am amazed!
(Finally, chicken is put in, and say you expect a turkey to come out. But cue card comes out.) This is amazing!
The machine says that the biggest turkey of them all is right here!
An alternate ending is to complain about how slowly the machine is working, and it needs to be washed. The
operator throws a small cup of water on the side, and a moment later a large bucket of water hits him.
Black Bart
There are several Black Bart skits, all revolving around the basic plot of the hero chasing Black Bart. The hero
and BB come face to face. BB is cornered, building up the tension. Destroy it with the anticlimactic line of: "You
get the ping pong ball and I'll get the paddles and I'll meet you in five minutes." Or "Oh, all right, Black Bart, you
use that one and I'll use the one upstairs." Use the latter one when BB is trapped in some room.
The Blanket Tossing Team
This takes about six guys, who form a circle around an invisible blanket, with a small invisible guy (Bruce) who
sits in the middle of the invisible blanket and gets tossed.
"We're an Olympic blanket tossing team, and Bruce in the middle here is our star blanket bouncer. We'll toss
Bruce a bit just to warm up. One, two, three! One, two, three! One, two, three!"
On three each time, the team lets the pretend blanket go slack, then pull it taught. They watch the invisible
Bruce go up in the air, then come down, and the gently catch him again in the blanket. Each time they toss him
higher. The team has to be in sync, and they have to watch about the same spot -- the easiest way to do this is to
have everyone just imitate the leader, who is the speaker.
"OK, we're all limbered up now?" The team murmurs in agreement. "Then let's toss Bruce a bit higher. One,
two, three!"
Bruce comes up, and the team adjusts their position a bit to catch him as he comes down.
"One, two, three!" This wait about ten seconds, and move quite a bit to get under him. Move this way and that
before finally catching him.
"One, two, three!" twenty seconds this time, almost lose track of him, adjust the position here, there, and here
again.
"What? What's that you say, Bruce?" pause "Audience, you are in luck! Bruce wants to go for the world record
blanket toss! Ready team? One! Two! Thu-reee!!!" A mighty toss! The team shifts positions, like trying to catch a
high fly ball. "There he goes! He's past the trees! He's really up there!" pause, looking hard into the sky "Do you
see him? I've lost him. Where'd he go?" another pause "Oh well." The team leaves the stage, and the program
continues.
After another skit and song, and preferably in the middle of awards or announcements of some sort, "Bruce!
Quick team!" The blanket tossing team runs back on stage, positions themselves this way and that, and catches
Bruce. "Let's have a big hand for Bruce! Yay!!!"
Blindfold
Recruit three or four volunteers and blindfold each one. Have the volunteers stand in front of the audience
and instruct them to take off anything they have on. The smart ones will remove their blindfold, but those caught
up in the joke will continue to remove items. Continue with those remaining one item at a time, until it borders on
indecency. Then remove the blindfold and let them in on the joke.
Bonfire
A leader begins to explain how to lay a campfire. The leader decides to use members of the audience to
represent different pieces of wood. The bonfire builders bring up various volunteers. Some of the volunteers are
bunched in the center for tinder with others placed for kindling with the "big" logs stacked on top of each other in
increasing larger sizes. The leader then says that the fire is ready to light, strikes a match, whereupon, several
accomplices yell out that its ON FIRE and dash several buckets of water on the fire.
Border Crossing
A variation on The Ghost of Midnight and The Ghost With One Black Eye.
The MacScouter's Big Book of Skits -- 10 -- January 1997

--- PAGE 16 ---
Cast: Border Guard, Supervisor, Several Crossers, 2 Brooms
Guard: Hi, Boss! I'm new here! What do I do?
Supervisor: Well, you have to make sure that people don't try to cross the border without stopping first. You
can shoot at them if you have to.
Guard: With what?
Supervisor: Well, we're out of guns, so here's a broom. People won't know the difference if you just go Bang!
Bang! Bang!
Guard: OK. (He goes to the side, and someone tries to cross without stopping, so he shoots at him. The
crosser falls.) Boss! Boss! It worked!
Supervisor: See? I told you. Now whenever it doesn't work, here's a pretend bayonet. If they don't fall from
the fake gun, you can always try stabbing them.
Guard: OK. (He goes to the side, and someone tries to cross without stopping, so he shoots at him. It
doesn't work, so he tries stabbing him. The crosser falls.) Boss! Boss! It worked!
Supervisor: See? I told you. Now go to work and don't stop until your shift is finished.
Guard: OK. (He goes to the side, and someone tries to cross without stopping, so he shoots at him. It
doesn't work, so he tries stabbing him. It doesn't work either.) Boss! Boss! What do I do?
Before boss answers, crosser points a broom at the guard and goes Bang! Bang! Bang! and the guard falls.
Brain Shop
Cast: Customer, Shopkeeper
Setting: Brain Shop
Customer: Hi! I'm bored with myself. I'd like to buy a new brain and have an all new personality.
Shopkeeper: (In one of those evil, horror movie voices) Ahh, yes. Well, I can sell you this brain from Billy
Crystal for $5000. Here. Try it. ("Unscrews" head and plops in pretend brain.) How do you feel?
Customer: (In Billy Crystal style voice) Marvelous. I ... feel ... marrrvelous. But I don't think it's me. Can I try
another?
Shopkeeper: Okay. Let me see. (Rummages around.) Let's try this one. It's the brain from Captain Kirk.
Only $5000.
Customer: (In Kirk voice) Scotty ... Can you fix those transporters? No, a bit too famous for me.
Shopkeeper: Sure. I'll go out back. (Rummages around in back of store.) Here's one from Ronald Reagan.
It only costs $5000. How do you feel?
Customer: (In Ronald Reagan style voice) Wellll ... Bonzo, stop that ... I think that this one's still a bit too
famous for me.
Shopkeeper: Hmmmm. A tough customer. I'll have to go down to the basement. I'll be back. (Customer
comments on the kind of brains he has gotten and what kind he'll get next.) Ahhh, here we are. The best in the
house, not famous at all. I guarantee you'll love it. Only $15000. (Yes ... $15000.)
Customer: (Imitates a leader in the crowd for some notorious act, such as putting up the sign and calling out
"PACK!" or admonishing the kids or doing a famous routine or the like.) Hmmm ... this is good. But I recognize it.
No, wait ... it's (Insert name of person.) I love it! But tell me ... the brains of those three famous people only cost
$5000 apiece. This one, however, comes from a virtually unknown, unimportant person. Why does it cost
$15000?
Shopkeeper: Well, it's never been used!
Brain Transplant
A group Scout goes to a new Scientific Laboratory where they have developed a new process for brain
transplants. The Scouts asks to see the selection of brains. The doctor shows them a selection. (the brains may
be in cans, where they look in it). The first one is marked $500.00. The scouts ask about it and are told it is the
brain from a peddler. The next $1,000.00,-a policeman, 1,500.00 - a teacher, etc up to $5,000.00 for the brain of
the greatest physicist in the world. The Scouts then see a container marked, $20,000.00 and ask about it. The
doctor explains "It is the brain from ____________ (DE Camp Director or Leader) and has never been used!
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--- PAGE 17 ---
The Briefcase
Scene: A person standing on a stage reciting a long story (or some other activity). A second person will enter
at various stages and interrupt him, after which the story teller starts again.
The second person will need the following props: A briefcase, and a step ladder.
1. Person 2 walks on with a briefcase. First person asks him what he's doing.
Reply: "I'm taking my case to court". Walks off.
2. Enters again with a step ladder. Same as before, this time replying: "I'm taking my case to a higher court"
3. This time, person two places the hands of the story teller in front of him, and puts his case on them.
"I rest my case" (This one works best when the story teller doesn't know about it).
4. Final entry, without a case: "I lost my case"
This can of course be expanded. Seen in a variety show with many other things happening (mostly knock-
knock jokes) in turn. Can be good when done properly.
A Brotherhood of Scouting
This skit has a Brotherhood theme, and is well-suited to the older sections (Scouts and higher) and leaders,
particularly in an all-sections campfire. It is best presented near the end of the campfire, when things are winding
down (and the children have settled down).
People required for the Skit: 6
Cast:
Old Man with a Staff
Spirit of the Beaver
Spirit of the Wolf Cub
Spirit of the Scout
Spirit of adventure
Spirit of the Rover
(fewer people may be used by doubling up on roles)
Skit Setup: Index cards can be used by the Spirits if there isn't time to memorize each role. (Small Flashlight
recommended!)
The Old Man is inside the campfire circle, walking slowly with his staff. He is slightly hunched over with age
and leans on the staff heavily.
The Scouting Spirits are evenly spaced outside the campfire circle, just far enough back not to be seen. (They
should speak loud and clearly).
NOTE: When the Old Man stops each time and looks into the fire, there should be 2-3 seconds of silence
before the Spirits speak.
(The memories that the Old Man says aloud should be specific to the group, so they have relevance to the
audience and can feel the full impact of the skit. Consult with other leaders/ youth for ideas.)
The Skit:
OLD MAN (Shuffling slowly around the campfire). "My life has been long, too long, and my Scouting years are
behind me. My friends are all gone and I am going to die alone. Old and Alone." (Stops and stares into the fire)
ALL SPIRITS: "SHARING"
SPIRIT OF THE BEAVER: "I am the Spirit of the Beaver. When you were young, I taught you Sharing and
Caring for the World."
OLD MAN (Resumes shuffling slowly around the campfire). <Beaver Memory> e.g. "Beavers. I remember
Beavers. Riverbanks and the Beaver Pond, making crafts to take home to Mom..." <etc.> (The Old Man stops
again and stares into the fire.)
ALL SPIRITS: "A-Ke-Lah"
SPIRIT OF THE WOLF CUB: "I am the Spirit of the Wolf Cub. I taught you to do your best, I led your Pack
through the forest and you lived by My Law."
OLD MAN (Resumes shuffling around the campfire). <Cub Memory> e.g. "Cubs. I remember Cubs. Hot Dog
roasts in the bush, my first real camp-out, and of course the Kub Kar races..." <etc>. (The Old Man stops again
and stares into the fire.)
ALL SPIRITS: "On My Honor"
SPIRIT OF THE SCOUT: "I am the Spirit of the Scout. I taught you knots and how to camp without a trace,
and together we explored the land."
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--- PAGE 18 ---
OLD MAN (Resumes shuffling around the circle). <Scout Memory> e.g. "Scouts. I remember Scouts. Long
hikes and long camps, breaking lake ice for water in the winter. And then there was Jamboree..." <etc.> (Stops
and stares into the fire.)
ALL SPIRITS: "Challenge"
SPIRIT OF ADVENTURE: "I am the Spirit of adVenture. I taught you leadership and set you free, to test your
limits to the skies."
OLD MAN (Resumes shuffling around the fire). <Venturer Memory> e.g. "Oh, yes, Venturers. Attending
Jamboree as a Hikemaster, leading people from around the world into the Rockies. Getting my drivers license
and trying to date Rangers..." <etc.> (Stops and stares into the fire)
ALL SPIRITS: "Service"
SPIRIT OF THE ROVER: "I am the Spirit of the Rover. I led you to adulthood and self-destiny. We chose to
give back the love we were given through Service."
OLD MAN (Resumes shuffling). <Rover Memory> e.g. "Rovers. I could never forget Rovers. Helping out at
Dream-On, putting on District campfires. And then there were the Moots and Road trips. And camps, camps,
camps." (Slows down and begins to sink to the ground. He is dying.)
ALL SPIRITS (Walk straight into the campfire circle from where they stand, if possible. They should all arrive
at the Old Man's body at the same time. Wait a moment or two.)
"We are the brotherhood of Scouting". <Each section says its name in order - BEAVERS, CUBS, SCOUTS,
VENTURERS, ROVERS.> "If you grow up with Scouting you are NEVER alone."
-- Thanks to Gary Nelson
The Bubble Gum on the Street
One of those skits Cubs just love and laugh at.
Cast: Kid, Dog, Basketball Player, Car, Jogger and Old Man
Setting: City Street
Kid: Blowing bubbles is just great. Watch. (Blows imaginary bubble; it pops and lands somewhere on the
ground.) Hmm. Where did it go? I should look for it. (Goes around and exits, still looking for it.)
Enter dog, who stops, sniffs at gum, pees on it, and exits. Basketball player is dribbling ball when it gets stuck
on the gum -- he tries to loosen it and finally does. Car drives right over it. Jogger goes by, his foot gets stuck on
it; old man comes by and his cane gets stuck on it. Finally, Kid comes back.
Kid: Ahh! There's my piece of gum! (Picks it up, pops it in his mouth and continues chewing.)
The Bubble Gum in the Studios
A quick, 2-person skit you can use to fill a moment when a six or patrol isn't ready (but should be.)
Cast: Announcer, Boy
Setting: Stage
Announcer: Ladies and Gentlemen! Welcome to the world famous WHEEL OF FISH! (Boy comes crawling
onto stage.) I say, young man, what are you doing down there?
Boy: (Looking up) I'm looking for my bubble gum!
Announcer: Well, where did you lose it?
Boy: Backstage!
Announcer: Then why look here?
Boy: The lighting is better here!
Buffalo Stories
These are a variation of the popular elephant jokes. They can be set up with two boys for each "joke".
Cub 1: How can you tell if a buffalo is under your bedroll?
Cub 2: The ceiling of your tent is very close.
Cub 3: Did you know buffaloes are originally from Italy?
Cub 4: You mean like in the song " Oh where is the home for the buffaloes -- Rome!
Cub 5: What do you find between the hooves of buffaloes?
Cub 6: Slow buffalo hunters.
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--- PAGE 19 ---
Cub 7: What do you get when you cross peanut butter with a buffalo?
Cub 8: You either get peanut butter that roams the range or a buffalo that sticks to the roof of your mouth.
Cub 9: How can you tell a buffalo from a field mouse?
Cub 10: Try to pick it up. If you can't, it's either a buffalo or a very overweight mouse.
Cub 11: How can you tell a buffalo has been in the refrigerator?
Cub 12: His hoof prints are in the jello.
Cub 13: How can you tell when there are two buffaloes in your refrigerator?
Cub 14: You can't shut the door.
Bus Driver
Cast: Several Passengers, Bus Driver, "Stinky"
Setting: Bus
Bus driver drives the bus along the route, and at each stop, more and more people get off the bus, holding
their noses, telling the driver to hurry up, pushing against each other, running off the bus, until finally only Stinky
and the Driver are left on the bus.
Driver: (Talking to Stinky) Hey! All my passengers left. You know anything about it? (Smells something
awful.) Hmm. Something smells -- it must be you.
Did you wash this morning?
Stinky: Yes.
Driver: Hmm. Deodorant?
Stinky: Yes.
Driver: Hmm. Clean shirt?
Stinky: Yes.
Driver: Clean underwear?
Stinky: Yes.
Driver: Change your socks?
Stinky: Sure! Here are the old ones!
C.P.R.
The first Scout comes out walking around, he suddenly grabs his chest and falls to the ground. Two other
scouts come in talking about just completing their first aid merit badge and find the scout on the ground. They
rush to his aid and begin C.P.R.. Adjust head, listen, feel for pulse and then begin (fake) compressions. The
other scout counts. After about 3 sets, the other scout yells "switch". Suddenly the scout on the ground gets up,
one of the two scouts lies down, and they begin again to administer C.P.R.
Camel Patrol
A Scout dressed in a turban enters the campfire circle. He places a blanket on the ground, kneels and begins
to pry. He prays by bowing down and with his arms out-stretched, he chant "Oh Allah, bring me a camel." Repeat
a number of times, and then he looks under the blanket. He shakes his head sadly and asks for a volunteer to
help him. The two kneel and pray to Allah for a camel. Again the first scout looks under the blanket and finds
nothing. He continues to recruit volunteers two or three at a time, each time praying for a camel. (if the volunteers
are not really helping then egg them on.) When there is no more room on the blanket for volunteers the first scouts
stand and says: "Allah hasn't sent me a camel, but he has sent me a lot of silly jackasses!"
Camp Coffee Sketch
Props: A large cooking pot and mugs for actors
1st Scout- (Walks to pot carrying his mug. He dips his mug in and brings it up to his lips for a drink) "This
camp coffee is getting worse".
2nd Scout- (Walks to pot carrying his mug. He dips his mug in and brings it up to his lips for a drink) "This
camp tea is getting worse".
3rd Scout- (Walks to pot carrying his mug. He dips his mug in and brings it up to his lips for a drink) "This
camp hot chocolate is getting worse".
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4th Scout- (Walks up to pot, dips his hands in and takes out a pair of wet socks. As he wrings them out he
says) "I thought that would get them clean!"
Can You Do This?
Cast: 2 People, campfire blanket
Have one person lie down on his back and the other kneel directly over him. The top person wears the
campfire blanket so as to hide his legs and expose the legs of the person lying down, to create the effect of it
being one person sitting down.
Person: Hi there! Welcome to Don's House of Fine Exercises and Sports Medicine. Today I'm going to ask
you about your regular stretching routine. Can you do this? (Lifts up a leg so that it's parallel with the chest.) Or
this? (Lifts other leg.) And how about this? (Crosses the legs.) This is an unusual one. Can you do it? (Brings
feet around the neck.) And let's not forget this one. Can you do it? (Stretches out the legs in spread eagle
fashion in the air.) (Elicit a no answer from a volunteer.) Well, neither can I! (Stands up.)
The Candy Shop
Ask for two volunteers, who just stand there in the candy shop.
A customer comes in and asks for chocolate covered cherries. Sorry, no chocolate covered cherries. Peanut
brittle? Sorry, just sold our last peanut brittle. Toffee. You must have toffee. Um, well, not today. Licorice? Fresh
out of licorice.
Well, what do you have? "Well, all we've got are these two suckers."
-- Thanks to Bob Jenkins
The Candy Store
This one can be really hammed up and included the kid walking up in a dance kind of way and the old
storekeeper, being old, very laboriously climbing up a ladder, getting the candy jar, coming down, counting out the
candies, and so on.
Cast: Old storekeeper, very young kid (4 years old)
Setting: A Candy Store
Kid: (Kid walks up to storekeeper and asks) I want five of those penny candies way up at the top.
Storekeeper: You mean those penny candies, way, way, waaaaaayy up top?
Kid: Yes, please.
Storekeeper: Sigh! (Kid takes innocent pleasure in watching the storekeeper go up.)
Storekeeper climbs up and get him five candies, and receives the five cents.
This scene repeats itself several times over 3 more days, with the storekeeper being more and more tired
each time and becoming equally more frustrated until,
Storekeeper: Oh! I see that kid coming. I know what he's coming to get, so I'll climb up now to get the
candies before he comes in and have it ready for him. (Kid walks in.) I bet I know what you want. I bet you want
five of the penny candies from way up top, right?
Kid: Nope! Not today!
Storekeeper: Sigh! Now I have to climb back up to put them away. (He climbs up, puts them away, then
comes down.) Now, sonny, what would you like today?
Kid: I would like three of those penny candies way up at the top!
Candy Store
The leader gives instructions for playing candy store. He asks that one person take a long string and hold on
and then adds others until there is a long line of people holding onto the string. Then the leader explains that this
is a candy store because there are some suckers hanging on the line.
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Candy Store (variation)
A candy store owner enters carrying a long pole. He asks two members of the audience to hold the pole,
draping a blanket or sheet over it, explaining that this is the candy store. One by one customers come in asking
for different types of candy, to each, the owner replies that he doesn't have any. Finally, a customer asks what he
does have. The owner states he doesn't have any candy left except for these two suckers on a stick, pulling the
blanket away at the same time.
Change Underwear
Have the boys march in, single file, with one boy leading them like a drill sergeant. The sergeant tells them to
stop and addresses them. He tells them he has some good news and some bad news. The good news is that
they get a change of underwear. The boys cheer and he cuts them off. The bad news is that they have to change
underwear with one another. The boys groan.
Chewing Gum
You will need: 5 Cub Scouts, props should include a lamppost, park bench, tree.
Scene: Park area, Cub Scouts walk on one at a time. This is a pantomime skit and is great to use with
younger Cub Scouts and shy boys.
One CUB walks on stage chewing imaginary gum (use exaggerated motions- chewing, blowing bubbles,
pulling gum out of mouth, putting it back in), leans against lamppost for a bit, takes gum out of his mouth and
sticks it to the lamppost. He then walks off stage. Second CUB comes on stage, leans against lamppost, feels
gum stick, pulls the gum off and sticks gum to bench. Second CUB exits. Third CUB enters and sits on bench.
Notice gum, pulls it off himself and throws it to the ground. Fourth CUB walks on stage, steps in gum, removes
gum from shoe and sticks it to tree. Exits. Fifth CUB enters, leans against tree and finds gum. Removes gum
from tree and sticks it on the lamppost. First CUB enters again. Walks up to lamppost, finds gum and sticks it
back in his mouth. Walks off stage chewing gum.
Chin Faces
Performers arrange themselves with their heads hanging upside down over the edge of a table with a sheet or
other drape covering their body with holes cut out exposing their mouth and chin. Place sunglasses just below the
chin in front of the neck for "eyes." The chin becomes the nose, the mouth is the mouth - but upside down, so to
smile you need to actually frown. The "chin face" makes a short silly speech or sings a harmonious song. Several
"chin faces" in a row can form a singing group or mime a recording. Variation: Have the "chin face" be a chicken
instead of a person.
Climb That
Two Scouts meet, and the first scout begins to brag he can climb anything.
Scout 1: "Can you climb that tree?"
Scout 2 "Sure I've done it lots of times."
Scout 1 "Can you climb the steep hill over there?"
Scout 2 "No sweat, no problem for me."
Scout 1 "How about the Empire State Building?"
Scout 2 "Done it, Did it."
Scout 1 "How about Mount Everest?"
Scout 2 "Boy that was I cold day, I've done that too. I told you I am the world's greatest climber, I can climb
anything!"
Scout 1 "I'll bet you ten bucks I can show you something that you can't climb."
Scout 2 "Your on!"
Scout 1 pulls out a flashlight and shine the beam up into the sky "all right climb that!"
Scout 2 "Are you crazy? No Way!"
Scout 1 "I knew you would back out, now pay up!"
Scout 2 "I won't pay because its not fair. I know you, I'd start climbing and I'd get half way and you'd turn the
flashlight off!"
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The Compass
Props: A good compass and a map
Announcer: In this scene, we see a Scoutmaster teaching a Patrol about maps and compass.
Scoutmaster: Now fellows, if you take a bearing from the map this way you can now stand up and, keeping
the compass away from your belt buckle, walk along the bearing until you reach your destination. John, you try
that.
John : (Does as instructed, exits, re-enters)
Scoutmaster: (Standing) In the same way you can take a bearing on a distant object, and use that to find
where you are on the map. Now, each of you take a bearing on that big tree on the hill top.
Other boys : (Do as instructed, passing compass around, making suitable comments.)
Scoutmaster: (After a few moments) All right, let's all gather around. That wraps up tonight's compass
lesson. There is just one more important point ! Never, never buy a TATES compass.
Tom : Scouter, why should we never buy a TATES compass ?
Scoutmaster: You know the old saying: "He who has a TATES is lost!"
The Complaining Monk
"I got this one off of my Part II Scouts. The Trainers did a wonderful job of it and at the blessing just before the
monk says his two words, the Abbot would say, in the typical chant tune, "My father plays Dominoes better than
your father does..." which was of course hilarious. Having, by pure coincidence, a monk suit with me at the time,
my patrol did a skit the following night ("What the heck was that!") that incorporated a monk that chanted, "My
father plays Dominoes better than those two guys from last night..." It of course brought the house down. Too
bad our punch line not only was nowhere near good enough a line to follow up but was also screwed up." Author
Cast: Monk, Abbot, narrator
Scene: Abbot's office
Narrator: This skit is about the monks in a monastery who are only allowed to speak two words every ten
years. Our friendly monk is about to come in and say his two words, after ten long years of silence.
Abbot: (Chants some blessing, then,) Yes, my son, what do you wish to say?
Monk: Bad food!
Narrator: Well, ten years have gone by, and of course our friendly monk's time has come again to say his two
words. He of course is not quite as young as he used to be, and walks a touch more slowly.
Abbot: (Chants some blessing, then,) Yes, my son, what do you wish to say?
Monk: Uncomfortable bed!
Narrator: Well, yet another ten years have gone by, and of course our friendly monk's time has come again to
say his two words. He is really old at this point, having been at the monastery for thirty, long, devoted years.
Abbot: (Chants some blessing, then,) Yes, my son, what do you wish to say?
Monk: I quit!
Abbot: I'm not surprised! You've been here for thirty years and all you've done is complain!
Contagious Disease Ward
The scene takes place in the waiting room of a doctor of contagious and communicable diseases, Dr.
Ringworm, M.D., L.S.D., V.I.P., L.C.B. Have four chairs and a stand for magazines or books. In walks a fellow (a)
with an itch which he scratches periodically in different places. He grabs a magazine and attempts to read but is
disturbs periodically by his itch. After a while , a second fellow (B) comes in with a serious hand twitch. B sits next
to A. B gradually starts to scratch with the itch, while A's hand starts to twitch. When it has been well established
that they have contracted each others' disease, a third person enters with a serious leg twitch. Pretty soon all
three have the hand twitch, leg twitch, and itch all over. a fourth guy comes in bouncing all over the place and
shaking every muscle in his body. The actions of the four guys become more frantic and are bouncing around in
their chairs. Then a boy dressed like a pregnant lady strolls in casually and the other four scramble for their lives.
If possible or desired have some jazz music playing in the background for the scouts with the diseases to keep the
beat to.
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Court Case
Second person walks in with a suitcase. First person already on stage asks where he is going and the first
person's reply is that he is going to court. A little while later he comes in with the case and also a ladder. This
time he says that he taking his case to a higher court.
Court Scene
Guy brought in - "I'm Innocent! I was just picking up pebbles on the beach!" Two or more with similar stories.
Last person comes on stage either dressed like a guy dressed like a girl or a girl, saying, "Hi, I'm Pebbles", in an
alluring manner.
Crazy Charlie
The scene is set up so that Crazy Charlie is portrayed as being in a mental institution. It's dinner time and
before he can ask for anyone to pass the meat, someone calls out 37 and the room bursts into laughter. Moments
later 57 is called out and more laughter results. Crazy Charlie asks the guy next to him what is going on. He is
told that everyone knows each others jokes so well that they have numbered the jokes.
After a while Charlie decides to give it a trial and call 52, but no one laughs; there is complete silence. Charlie
asks his friend what is wrong. He friend tells him not to worry that there isn't anything wrong, some people can tell
jokes and some people can't.
Cub Cookout
Characters: Several Cubs around fake campfire pretending to cook hot dogs on sticks. Two Cubs dressed as
mosquitoes--antennae, wings etc.
Setting: Boys around fire keep slapping as if they are being attacked by mosquitoes throughout the skit. As
the scene opens, the two mosquitoes enter the stage and continue walking randomly around the boys as they
deliver their lines.
Mosquito #1: Hey, I got a good one! Which sport do we mosquitoes like best?
Mosquito #2: Easy! Skin diving. Say, did you hear what the Cub Scout said to the mosquito.
Mosquito #1: No, what?
Mosquito #2: Don't bug me!
Mosquito #1: Are you related to any of the bugs around here?
Mosquito #2: Sure. My ant.
Mosquito #1: Did you hear what the mother grasshopper said to her children?
Mosquito #2: No -- tell me.
Mosquito #1: Hop to it!
Cub #1: These mosquitoes are awful! Lucky I brought the insect repellent. (Pretends to spray air.)
(Mosquitoes exit quickly -- choking and gagging.)
Cub #2: (To cub #1) Say, what has 18 feet, red eyes, and long claws.
Cub #1: I don't know.
Cub #2: Neither do I, but it's crawling up your neck.
(All boys run screaming from stage.)
Cub Olympics
Characters: TV reporter, 4 Cub athletes getting ready for the Cub Olympics.
Props: Frisbee for discuss, pile for javelin, bag of cookies, toothbrush and basin of water on stand, fake mike
for reporter (can be dressed in suit jacket and have ID for his station on his lapel in large letters)
TV reporter: We're here today to interview the athletes at Pack _____ as they prepare for the challenge of this
years Cub Olympics. As you can imagine, it takes months of training and hard work to get these athletes ready to
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--- PAGE 24 ---
compete. Let's see how they are preparing themselves for the big competition. (turns to Cub #1 with microphone)
Tell me, how are you getting ready for your event in the Olympics?
Cub #1: I'm practicing my throw for the discus event. (demonstrates how to throw discus using Frisbee)
TV reporter: Great form! (turns to Cub #2) and you -- can you tell us how you are preparing to compete?
Cub #2: I'm polishing my javelin for the javelin throw (polishes pole with a rag.)
TV reporter: Good luck! (turns to Cub #3) What are you doing today?
Cub #3: I'm practicing for the standing broad jump. (does a couple of practice jumps)
TV reporter: Fine! (turns to Cub #4) And what are you doing to train for the Olympics?
Cub #4: I'm brushing my teeth! (uses basin of water and toothbrush --pretends to brush teeth)
TV reporter: Brushing your teeth! What Olympic event could you possibly be training for?
Cub #4: I'm training for the International Olympic Cookie - Eating event! (pulls out bag of cookies and stuffs
some in his mouth.)
Cub Scout Socks
Characters: Den leader, 3 Cub Scouts
Props: A pile of socks on a table. Den leader sits behind table.
Den leader: Boys, I'm pleased to announce that our new Cub Scout socks have arrived! Please step up for
your supply of clean socks.
Cub #1: I need four pair.
Den leader: What do you need 4 pair for?
Cub #1: I need them for Monday, Wednesday, Friday, and Sunday.
Den leader: O.K. Here are your socks. Next please.
Cub #2: I need seven pair.
Den leader: What do you need seven pair for?
Cub #2: For Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday.
Den leader: O.K. here are your socks.
Cub #3: I need 12 pairs.
Den leader: Wow, you must really be a clean guy! So why do you need 12
pair?
Cub #3: Well, there's January, February, March, April...etc.
Cub Shop
Cast: 4 Shoppers, Storekeeper, Kid (in underwear, or nightgown), full uniform
Setting: Store
#1: I'd like to buy the Cub Shirt.
Storekeeper: Sure. One moment, please. (You hear the kid struggling with the keeper in the background --
"No, you can't have it!") (Comes back with a shirt.)
#2: I'd like to buy the accessories to the Cub Uniform.
Storekeeper: Sure. One moment, please. (You hear the kid struggling with the keeper in the background --
"No, you can't have them!") (Comes back with accessories.)
#3: I'd like to buy the pants to go with the Cub Uniform.
Storekeeper: Sure. One moment, please. (You hear the kid struggling with the keeper in the background --
"No, you can't have them!") (Comes back with pants.)
#4: I'd like to buy the right kind of shoes for the Cub Uniform.
Storekeeper: Sure. One moment, please. (You hear the kid struggling with the keeper in the background --
"No, you can't have them!") (Comes back with shoes.)
Kid: (Comes running out in underwear/swim suit) How am I supposed to go to Cubs without my uniform?
Damn! (or should I say Darn?)
Cast: Director, 2 Workers, Cameraman, Clapperman, Light Man, Soap
Setting: On the Setting of a Movie
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--- PAGE 25 ---
Director: Okay, people! Remember what I said about the language! Action!
Clapperman: Scene 5, Take 1!
Worker 1: (Eating lunch with #2) You know, Gerry, the wife is always nagging me for some more money.
And I just don't have it.
Gerry: I know what you mean. The (DARN) kids are always ...
Director: Cut! What did I say about the language? You know the rules ... soap in the mouth. (Pantomime
director washing out Gerry's mouth with soap.) Okay, let's try that one again. And watch the language!
Continues the same way, but each time something happens where a different person says "Darn" --
clapperman gets fingers caught in clapper (don't do the whole scene over again, of course,) cameraman trips
while filming, light person drops light, #1 says "the darn wife ..." Finally, the director is about to start the scene
again when he looks at his watch.
Director: Oh darn. Look at the time ...
Cast & Crew: Cut! You know the rules ... (Pantomime washing out mouth with soap)
Dancing Knee Dolls
Paint faces on the knees of the performers. Use dresses (or pants and shirt) to dress the legs as dolls with
the arms bulging out. The clothes can be made out of crepe paper, cloth, or real clothing. Cover the upper legs
and body with a sheet. Direct a flashlight (spot) onto each knee.
The Dangerous Tent
Cast: 2 guys, 2 bikers
Setting: Campground
#1: Well, time to go to bed. AND I GET THE TENT! (Beats up little guy.)
#2: But... Oh well, it's no use. (He sets up his sleeping bag under the stars.)
Bikers: (Make motorcycle noises & come in.) Ha! Ha! Let's beat up this guy! (They beat up little guy.)
Next morning,
#2: Hey! Last night some bikers came here and beat me up!
#1: You're just jealous that I took the tent. Be a man.
The next night and morning, the same routine occurs, with the little guy complaining even more. Finally, the
big guy lets the little guy have the tent, with much ado about him being a wimp. That night,
Bikers: (Make motorcycle noises & come in.) You know, I think we've beat up on the guy outside enough the
past two nights. Let's beat up the guy inside the tent tonight!
The Dead Body
Number of Participants: 2
Scene: One person lying on the ground, dead. Another sees him and runs for the telephone and, panicking,
gasps: "Police, there's a dead person here... Where ? .... Uh, (looking for a sign), "I'm at Montgomery and
Westchester... Spell it ?... Uh, M-o-t-n... Uh, M-o-t-g,," (confused), "Just a minute, I'll drag him over to King and
Elm !"
The Den Mother's Bouquet
Characters: Six Cub Scouts in summer uniform or Cub Scout T-shirts.
Scene: A nature walk.
Props: Cub - fashioned bouquet, with strands of ivy.
Cub 1: Gee, Fellas. I don't think Mrs. Brown's having a very good time.
Cub 2: Well, you didn't help things much, giving her that garter snake.
Cub 3: I was just trying to help her collect stuff for our nature display at pack meeting.
Cub 4: Yeah...and you heard what she said! "Nothin' ever again, that moves by itself."
Cub 3: So...now I know better!
Cub 5: Don't worry about a thing, you guys. I'm gonna fix everything.
Cub 6: Yeah? How?
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--- PAGE 26 ---
Cub 5: Well, you know how nutty women are about flowers? So, I picked her this neat bunch of flowers...(he
holds up bouquet, with trailing strands of ivy)... See?
Cub 6: Oh no... (wails). We'll never get to go on another hike!
Cub 5: How come?
Cub 6: Cause...that's poison ivy!!
Did You Have V-8?
Cast: Weakling, three or four Thugs, Old Lady, Director, Cameraman
Setting: Street Corner Set in a Studio
Weakling: Hi there. I'm advertising the great effects this wonderful vegetable cocktail, V-8, has on your
stamina. You, Sir. (To a tough looking thug.) Did you have your V-8 today?
Thug: Duh, no. Real men don't drink V-8.
Weakling: Sure they do. Watch! (He beats up thug.) See? I had my V-8 today!
You Sir! Did you have your V-8 today?
Thug 2: (Has crowbar) No, I don't need it!
Weakling: Sure you do. (He beats up thug.) You can tell I do! And you Sir! Did you have your V-8 today?
Thug 3: Ask me again and I'll beat you up.
Weakling: Heh, heh. Did you have your V-8 today? (Thug tries to beat him up, but weakling takes care of
him no problem.) So you see, having your V-8 is great for you.
An old lady walks in; weakling looks puzzled, whispers to director saying he hadn't heard about an old lady in
the script; director says to go on and ask her anyway.
Weakling: Excuse me, Ma'am. Did you have your V-8 today?
Old lady: As a matter of fact, young man, I did -- and I'll prove it! (She beats him up.)
Dinner Special
Characters: two customers, waiter. Let actors develop actions and dialogue from the situation
Props: table with tablecloth, candles, menus, etc. Most important - a storybook
Two customers enter a fancy seafood restaurant, study the menus, etc. Waiter arrives to take orders
One customer orders shrimp, the second says, "I'd like a lobster tail, please."
Waiter says appropriate things, goes away, returns with a storybook, sits down near customer two but face
audience and begins to read; "Once upon a time, there was a little lobster...."
Doctor! Doctor!
The secret to success with this series of quickies is to keep them moving along. You can have one doctor and
different patients, but it may add greater rush and flurry if a different doctor and patient fly in and out for each
quickie.
Pat: Doctor! Doctor! I feel like a set of drapes.
Doc: Pull yourself together!
Pat: Doctor! Doctor! Am I going to die?
Doc: That's the last thing you'll do.
Pat: Doctor! Doctor! Everyone keeps ignoring me.
Doc: Next!
Pat: Doctor! Doctor! My back feels like a deck of cards!
Doc: I'll deal with you later.
Pat: Doctor! Doctor! What's wrong with me?
Doc: Have you had this before?
Pat: Yes.
Doc: Well, you've got it again!
Doc: You'll live to be 80.
Pat: I am 80.
Doc: See!
Pat: Doctor! Doctor! I've got insomnia.
Doc: Don't lose any sleep over it!
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--- PAGE 27 ---
Pat: Doctor! Doctor! My friend's doctor told him he had appendicitis and, two weeks later, my friend died of
heart failure.
Doc: Don't worry. If I tell you you've got appendicitis, you'll die from appendicitis!
Doctor's Office
First patient comes in hiccuping and asks to see the doctor. The second patient comes in cross-eyed, with a
silly look on his face. The third person can't control his muscles and is all jittery. They are all asked to sit down.
The first person is asked to go in. There is a real commotion and the patient comes out fine. The same thing
happens to the second and third patients. The nurse tells the doctor it is time to go home. The doctor emerges
with the symptoms of all his patients and goes offstage.
Doggie Doctor
A person comes to a psychologist and says that he needs help, he thinks that he is a dog, holding up his
hands like a dog begging. Through out the skit the person acting like a dog, does dog-like things, like scratching
behind his ear, whining, etc. Doctor asks how long he has had this problem. Ever since he was a puppy is the
reply. The doctor asks if he will lie on the couch but the person says that he can't since he can't get on the
furniture. Doctor's advice is to make sure that he gets all his shots and don't go chasing any cars.
Doggie Doo
Cast: Two friends, doggie doo
Setting: Street
Two friends are walking along the street, perhaps having a conversation about something, talking about a
movie or the latest hockey scores, when all of a sudden --
John: Hey Frank! Watch out! That may be doggie doo! Smell it to see if it smells like doggie doo!
Frank: (Smells it) Yep! Smells like doggie doo!
John: Touch it to see if it feels like doggie doo!
Frank: (Touches it) Yep! Feels like doggie doo!
John: Taste it to see if it tastes like doggie doo!
Frank: (Tastes it) Yep! Tastes like doggie doo!
John: Well! It's a good thing we checked and didn't walk in it!
The Dumb Actors
"I once directed this skit and, having prepared it with the kids a few weeks prior to the actual campfire (and the
kids being from another group), I'd forgotten that I had to arrange for their brooms. So in the middle of the skit, I
remembered about the brooms and quickly ran into the camp kitchen to get the brooms!
"It seems to me that this one perhaps could use a little "setting the scene" -- perhaps start off with the "actors"
standing around on break, and the Director calling them in, saying that they'd had enough time already. On that
note, I once participated in the presentation of this skit. I was a fifth cleaner who was sort of on break, sort of
working. I had a coffee cup, a broom, some towels, etc. I would go up and clean the camera, sweep around the
son who was lying on the ground, occasionally try to interrupt, but not quite manage to, etc. After a verbatim
presentation as follows, I added in, "Yeah guys, let's get back to work!"
"Otherwise known as "At the Movies" from the Leader Magazine -- text from the Best of the Leader Magazine
Cut Out Pages." Author
Cast: Director, Others in a Studio (Clapper Board, Lighting Men), Mother, Son, Doctor, Undertaker, brooms
for the actors
Director: Lights, Camera, Action!
Clapper: Scene one, Take one!
The actors play the scene without the least sign of emotion as lighting people follow and cameraman films.
Mother is flipping pancakes at the stove when son walks in.
Son: Mom, I don't feel too well. (He collapses)
Mom: (Goes over, looks at son.) Oh, I'd better call the doctor. (Moves to the phone, dials making click, click,
click sounds.) Doctor, come quick. My son's collapsed.
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Doctor: (Enters, checks pulse and breathing.) He's dead. I'd better call the undertaker. (Goes to phone,
dials making dialing sounds like Mom did.)
Undertaker, you'd better come. I have a dead body here.
Undertaker: (Enters and begins to measure the body.)
Director: (Jumps up.) Cut! Cut! That was terrible. You had no emotion AT
ALL! Let's do it again. This time, give me more emotion!
Cast: (Exiting) Right. More emotion.
Director: Lights, Camera, Action!
Clapper: Scene one, Take Two!
The actors redo the scene, using exactly the same words, but with great hammy histrionics. Mom weeps
uncontrollably throughout, son dies very dramatically, etc. At the same point as in Take One, the Director yells,
"Cut! Cut!"
Director: That was better, but too fast. Let's try again. This time, slow it down. Lights, Camera, Action!
Clapper: Scene on, Take three!
The actors redo the scene in slow motion -- talking slowly, mowing slowly. For example, when the telephone
is dialed it goes click ... click ... click ... and after the doctor check's the son's pulse, the son's hand falls slowly
back to the floor, etc. The Director yells "Cut!" in the usual place.
Director: That was far too slow! Let's speed it up!
This time the actors do the scene so quickly that the son throws himself to the ground, the doctor is there
before Mom can hang up, and so on.
Director: (At the same place) Cut! That was absolutely terrible! Actors? Do you call yourselves actors!!??
Cast: Actors? Who said anything about actors? We're the cleaners! (All pickup brooms and exit.)
Easter Bunny
The Easter Bunny is out delivering his eggs and the police arrest him for breaking and entering a house. The
police don't believe that he is the Easter Bunny, but finally decide to believe him and let him go. He decides to
finish delivering and tries to enter another house where an old lady or man accuses him of stealing. The Bunny
says, "Oh no, not again!" and is run off the stage by the old lady swinging a stick or umbrella.
The Echo
The club leader announces during the singing that he has noticed an echo in the room and he is going to try it
out (also could be on a hike overlooking a canyon). The following is a dialogue between the leader and the echo -
a person out of the room or out of sight.
Leader: Hello
Echo: Hello
Leader: Cheese
Echo: Cheese
Leader: Bologna
Echo: (silence)
Leader: (to group) It must not be working now. I'll try again. (to echo) This leader is great.
Echo: Bologna
Echo, again!
A Scout enters the campfire area, walks around and collapses to the ground. He lays there seriously ill and
dying. Soon another scout enters and finds the ill scout. He screams out: "There is someone lying here!" then
the echo effect from outside of the campfire area. Soon the scout calls out, "I think he is ill!", echo effect. He
continues, "I think he is very ill!" echo again. The Scout beginning to panic screams out "He is dying" with the
echoes responding. Finally the scout calls out "He is Dead!". But this time the echoes respond in unison, "Its
about time!"
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Echo Point
Once modified this to suit a space theme -- it was a tour around the galaxy to different planets, people traveled
in a spaceship to get from planet to planet (a drawing of the USS Enterprise, no less,) and they went back to the
starbase. But essential details of the dialogue, and of course, the joke itself, were exactly the same.
Cast: Guide, Tourists, Echo hidden in the bushes
Setting: A Tour of the Countryside
You might want to lengthen it a bit at first, to tell a more complete story, but for the sake of brevity, you might
not.
Guide: (To tourist group) And this over here is the famous site where John Smith first discovered gold. Now
if you'll follow me, we'll be going to Echo Point next. (Walks around a bit with group.) Here it is. What makes
Echo Point so special is that whenever you call out the name of a food, it will echo three times. Listen. Yogurt!
(Echo: "Yogurt! Yogurt! Yogurt!") See? Now, would anybody else like to try?
Tourist #1: I would. Banana! (Echo: "Banana! Banana! Banana!")
Tourist #2: Salad! (Echo: "Salad! Salad! Salad!") Hey! Neato!
Tourist #3: I want to try. Baloney! (Echo: "Baloney! Baloney!" -- ONLY TWICE!)
Guide: (After a pause,) That's strange -- it's never repeated a food only twice. Maybe we should wait a
moment more. (Pause -- nothing happens.) I'm so embarrassed. Well, I guess we should go back to the base,
where the food is so good!
Echo: Baloney!
Elevated Gum
A boy enters chewing gum, acting like a business man, with a briefcase etc. Walks up and enters a elevator,
sticks gum on the wall. A kid listening to rock & roll on his portable stereo, dances into the elevator, leans on wall,
hands sticks to gum. Tries hard to pull hand off the wall. The kid looks at the gum, stretches it, picks his nose,
sneezes, etc.; all getting on the gum. Throws the gum at the back of the elevator where it sticks. Dumb, spacey,
jock stereotype enter the elevator, leans on the back wall and the gum gets stuck to the following places: first
head and elevator, then head and hand, both hands, foot and both hands, both feet and hands, hands, knees, and
hand to face. He finally gets free and sticks gum back on side wall. Businessman enters the elevator after the
Jock leaves, see gum and decides to chew it again, then leaves.
The Elevator
The scene opens with an elevator operator intoning "Ground Floor". A passenger gets on and begins to jiggle
slightly. The elevator operator intones each floor with a description of what's on that floor. A passenger gets on at
each floor and begins to jiggle as well. As the elevator gets higher the passengers begin to jiggle more. When the
top floor is reached the passengers begin to jiggle like mad, the operator intones bathrooms and they all rush
quickly off. The operator suddenly looks funny, begins to jiggle, shouts "ME TOO!" and runs off the stage.
Emergency Room Doctor
The scene is an emergency room at a hospital. The Doctor is totally self absorbed, combing hair, looking in
mirror etc. A guy runs in, a hiker with a branch stuck in his stomach. He is screaming in agony. the Doctor insists
that he must ask him some questions before anything can be done. The patient screams that he is losing blood.
The doctor continues asking questions such as where he lives, past illnesses, type of house, how he got there etc.
A phone rings and the Doctor is invited out to lunch. The Doctor runs off leaving the wounded man writhing on the
floor. A stupid looking janitor with a broom wanders by and pulls the branch out. The patient stands up, says
thanks and leaves.
The Enlarging Machine
Preparation: Decide which objects will be enlarged, and collect both large and small versions. For example:
A dime becomes a quarter.
A string becomes a coil of rope.
A newspaper page becomes the Sunday paper.
Set up a sheet as a backdrop, and hide a Scout behind it with the large objects and a bucket of water. The
Professor will be in front of the sheet with the small objects. If it is dark, you will need a spotlight on the action.
The Skit
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The Professor walks out and announces that he has developed a wonderful Enlarging Machine that will make
anything - anything - bigger. As the Scout behind the machine makes 'machine' noises, he explains that the
machine is operated simply by tossing an object over the sheet. The machine will then return the object in a much
larger form.
The Professor will demonstrate his fantastic invention, but he needs volunteers to help. One by one, the
volunteers come forward. The Professor hands them an object which they throw over the sheet. The machine
then makes noises, and the larger object is tossed back. Each time, the Professor exclaims about the value and
capability of the machine.
The last volunteer is the Scapegoat, who is volunteered by the Professor and the crowd. The Professor takes
the Scapegoat by the arm and leads him toward the audience and away from the sheet. In tones of great secrecy,
the Professor encourages him to have some fun with the machine and spit over the sheet. They return to the
sheet, and the Scapegoat spits. He is instantly drenched by a bucket of water.
Variation
The Professor can talk out loud about an object, but actually hand the Scapegoat a cup of water. By his
actions, he implies that he and the Scapegoat are going to surprise the Scout behind the machine. This can have
several outcomes; the Scout can be surprised; the Scapegoat can get wet anyway; or the Professor can get wet,
to his surprise.
Eskimo Pie
Scene: Group of Cub Scouts around a table.
Props: Ping pong ball, sponge, white golf tees, pan with ice cream bars in the bottom.
Cub 1: Isn't it great our leader is letting us make a pie for our den meeting treat?
Cub 2: Sure is. I don't know what kind of pie it is, but here are the directions.
Cub 3: Let's see, first you put in these walrus eyes.
Cub 4: Walrus eyes? Are you sure?
Cub 3: Says so right here. (Puts ping pong balls in pan.)
Cub 5: OK, next put in a pound of blubber.
Cub 4: A pound of blubber? Are you sure?
Cub 5: That's what it says in the recipe. (Puts in white sponges.)
Cub 6: The next thing to add are two dozen polar bear teeth.
Cub 4: I don't believe that. Why would you put teeth in a pie?
Cub 3: Hey, you have to have teeth to eat a pie!
Cub 4: Oh yeah, go ahead.
Cub 6: Here go the teeth. (Puts in golf tees.)
Cub 1: Now we let it freeze for one hour. (Put lid on pan.)
Cub 2: (Hold up sign that says "one hour later".)
Cub 1: Let's see what we've got. (Uncovers pot.)
All: (Look into pan and exclaim.) Eskimo pies!!!! (Pull out ice cream bars, open and eat.)
The Failed Reporter
"I'm a reporter. I have been for 12 years. And in all that time, I've never had a real scoop. Never. I'm a
failure. I've done this long enough, so now I'm going to jump off this bridge and kill myself. One, two, ..."
"Wait! Wait! Why are you jumping?"
"I'm a failed reporter. I've never had a real scoop."
"Oh. You think you have it bad, I'm a truck driver, and I've got hemorrhoids. I think I'll join you."
"One, two, ..."
"Wait! What are you all doing?" "We're committing suicide." "Oh, I'm a grade school teacher. I just realized
that I can't stand whiney little kids. I think I'll join you."
"One, two, ..."
"Wait! What are you doing?" "We're committing suicide." "Well I'm a florist, and I've got hay fever." sneeze! "I
think I'll join you."
"One, two, ..."
"Wait! What are you doing?" "We're committing suicide." "I'm a dentist, hic and I've had the hiccups for the last
hic five years. Would you like a tooth removed hic?" He holds one of those pointy dentist things, and each time he
hics his hands jerk around "No!" "Then I think I'll hic join you."
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"One! Two! Three!!!" They all jump, except for the reporter.
"Four people jump to their grisly deaths! What a scoop!" He runs offstage, scribbling furiously on his notepad.
-- Thanks to Bob Jenkins
The Fire
You need two players and a behind-scenes person to move the fire (an artificial campfire with invisible strings
attached).
The players sit by the fire, reading, doing a puzzle, etc. The fire moves slightly. They don't notice. It moves
again; they don't notice. This continues until, finally, the fire is pulled off stage. At that point, one of the players
looks at the other and says, "Looks like the fire's gone out again!"
-- Thanks to Scouting (UK) magazine
Firebuilding
When we entered the campfire theater the first four scouts walked in with large cans filled only with torn up
news paper. The Staff immediately noticed and gave us their attention. One or two came over to see what was
up. We let them examine the cans and they found only paper. As everyone was seated, the leaders delivered
additional cans, these had water balloons covered with paper. I even threw some paper in the air as we delivered
the cans. During the other skits, I sat down with staff carrying a dummy can and left it there. Now for the skit:
Have four volunteers stand across from each other with arms on shoulders making a square. The Next four
volunteers bend over with their rears pushed out and their arms around the waist of the four who are standing.
The Next four get behind the knees of the four bent over, on all fours. The announcer continues to talk about fire
lays and the importance of building a great fire lay. Ham this up and joke about the funny logs the scouts have
brought for the fire lay. With everything in place, the announcer reminds all of fire safety and that you must always
put out the fire when you are finished. ( at this point the senior staff member was heard assuring the others, no
fear, its only paper)The Staff was then properly "put out"! It was a great sales job, and worked so well.
Best skit and Best con at summer camp.--
-- Thanks to Merl Whitebook, Troop 1, Tulsa, Okla.
The Firing Squad
A firing squad lines up with a prisoner. The leader of the firing squad calls out "Ready ... Aim ..." The prisoner
shouts, "Tornado!" The soldiers all run for cover and the prisoner escapes. A Second prisoner is brought out, the
leader calls out "Ready ... Aim ..>" and the prisoner shouts, "Landslide!", the firing squad runs for cover and the
prisoner escapes again. Repeat this for other natural disasters. The last prisoner is brought out and having seen
the other prisoners escape decides to do the same thing except he yells "Fire" and the firing squad does.
Version 2:
Probably taken from "You Can't Do That on Television."
Cast: Rifle squad, Commander, Person to be executed
Setting: Jail
Person about to executed is standing at pole, doing a crossword puzzle.
Commander: Ready, aim ... What are you doing?
Person: The crossword puzzle from today's New York Times. A real tough one.
Commander: Did you know I'm about to have you executed?
Person: Sure. Here ... a four letter word meaning burning ... Hmm ... Do you have any idea?
Commander: Four letters -- burning -- (takes puzzle, walks in front of pole, person sneaks away) -- F-I-R-E !
FIRE! It fits!
Firing squad shoots and he buckles over with one of those knowing looks on his face.
Fish Market
Two people, one a fisherman and the other a fish market manager come on stage and hold a long cord
between them. The fish market man attempts to call the fisherman on the telephone to see if he has any fish
today, the fisherman acts as if he can't hear him. Volunteers are brought out of the audience and hold the cord
between the fish market man and the fisherman one or two at a time with the market man attempting to call each
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--- PAGE 32 ---
time. When several people are holding the line, the market man is able to communicate with the fisherman. The
fisherman says that he doesn't have any trout but he does have a lot of suckers hanging on a line showing the line
the volunteers are holding up.
Fishin'
Center stage is a lad fishing from a billy can or bucket, he keeps pulling the rod as though he has something
on the line. A passer by looks at him as he walks by and then walks on, after a few steps the passer by comes
back to the lad.
Passerby: "What are you doing there then?"
Fisher: "I'm fishing, what does it look as though I'm doing?"
Passerby: "Fishing eh!, what are you fishing for."
Fisher: "I'm fishing for suckers."
Passerby: "Have you caught any?"
Fisher: "Yes you're the third today"
Fishing
(The scene opens with the two players rowing an imaginary boat.)
Andrew: Whew! It sure is a long way out here.
Robert: Yep. (puts hand to eyes) I can't see the shore anymore. Ready to start fishing ?
Andrew: I think so. Looks like a good spot to me.
(Both ready imaginary rods, reels, hooks, worms, etc., and start fishing. Immediately they both start to catch
fish, recast and catch more. Continue for several casts.)
Andrew: I told you this would be a good spot.
Robert: Sure is, the boat's full. Guess we have our limit.. Better get back.
Andrew: O.K. (gets oars ready)
Robert: Did you use a map to get here ?
Andrew: Nope.
Robert: How are we ever gonna find our way back tomorrow ?
Andrew: Oh, that's easy. I'll just mark the spot with a big X right here on the side of the boat ! (makes mark -
both row away quickly)
Fishing on a Park Bench
Three guys are sitting on a park bench. Goober is quietly reading, Gomer is pretending to swim in a lake
(jumps off bench and swims around). Gopher is pretending to be fishing, reeling fish after fish. Policeman comes
in and watches them. Policeman asks Goober if he knows the other two men. Goober says they are his friends.
The policeman thinks Goober ought to take care of his friends. Goober says okay and asks the others to climb into
his boat. The policeman ask Goober what he is doing: Goober says: "Somebody has to row the boat" pretends
to row off stage (the policeman staring after them, shaking his head in disbelief).
Fishing Success
Five or six fishermen sit on the end of the dock (chairs), casting and winding in their lines. One fisherman is
catching all the fish: the others have no luck. In turn, the unlucky ones ask the successful fisherman why he's
doing so well. Each time, he mumbles a reply without opening his mouth, and nobody can tell what he is saying.
The other fisherman get more irritated. After each question, the fisherman catches another fish, bigger than the
last. (ham this up) The other gripe and protest. When the last person asks the question, the successful
fisherman sighs, spits into his hand, and says, "You have to keep the worms warm."
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The Fishing Trip
Cast: 4 to 8 Cub Scouts.
Props: Fishing gear, a small row boat or cardboard silhouette of a boat, and a sign that says "boat dock".
Setting: The scene starts with the boat about 10 feet away from the boat dock. The Cub Scouts and their
Den Chief are on their way to go fishing. The first Cub stops at the dock then walks out across the water and gets
in the boat.
Boy 2: Hey wait for me! (he walks out to the boat)
Den Chief: Oh well... (steps into the water and pretends to fall in and drags himself back to shore)
Boy 3: Hey wait up. Here I come (walks out to the boat)
The Den Chief tries and fails again. The sequence continues until all the boys are in the boat and only the
Den Chief remains on shore. Finally, one of the Cub Scouts says: "Should we tell him where the rocks are?"
Flasher
One member seems to be wearing nothing but an overcoat in front of the campfire. As each scout approached
him, he would (with his back turned to the audience) flash the "innocent" bystander. Each time that he flashed, the
person would either be frightened off or else roll down a hill in uncontrolled hysterics. After his third victim he
turned to the crowd and asked "Hey what's the deal?" Revealing that he was wearing shorts with a letter-sized
photocopy of the face of the leader, camp director or the like. Once again showing that it's not always so hot to be
popular
Flea
Boys standing in a line, first boy scratches, then second on down the line, last boy feels it and says "Oh there
you are Marvin, I've been looking all over for you. You've got to stop hopping around, Marvin (boy acts as though
Marvin has hopped away) you come back here.(goes out into the audience looking and touching people) There
you are Marvin, you've got to stay here (looks at pretend speck) Hey you aren't Marvin, (puts it back into the
audience) Oh Marvin where are you?
The Flea Circus
Characters: Ringmaster, Cub Scouts in Uniform (any number).
RINGMASTER: Ladies and Gentlemen, we are proud to introduce the Den _____ Flea Circus. We will now
present Hugo, who will walk the tightrope. When he reaches the center, he will turn a double somersault. May we
have silence, please?
[Two Cubs stretch a string. Third Cub places "flea" on the string. Cubs follow movement of flea with
exaggerated head movements, as it walks to the center of the string, and turns the somersault. One boy with his
mouth open gets too close to the string and gulps as if he had swallowed a "flea".)
FIRST CUB: [Puts hand over mouth, gulps loudly.] I swallowed Hugo! [Begins to cry and leaves stage.]
RINGMASTER: Err...uh...well... On with the show. Our next act is about to begin. Homer will jump from this
boy's hand into a dish of water. Keep in mind the size of this tiny fellow.
[Boy makes motion of tossing "flea" into dish, then retrieves him in hand.]
RINGMASTER: Well done, Homer. Give the little guy a big hand.
[Boy claps quickly, forgetting Homer...looks shocked, and slowly parts hands, sobs and runs off stage.
RINGMASTER: Too bad. But we must compose ourselves. Our next fabulous act features Hector, the
weight lifting Flea. Hector is the strongest flea in the world. That rock may not seem large to you, but think of how
small Hector is... compare his size to the size of this rock.
[Boy puts Hector on table, proudly points to him, flexes muscles, and points to Hector again.]
RINGMASTER: [To boy] Hold up that rock so the audience can get a better look at it.
[Boy holds up rock in one hand for audience to see... then plops rock back down on table without looking.
Looks around for Hector, picks up rock and finds smashed Hector.]
BOY: Hector! Hector! [Sobs, hangs head, and leaves stage.]
RINGMASTER: We seem to be having a bit of hard luck. But the show must go on. I now introduce Harry,
the bare-back riding flea.
[Boy removes shirt, then pretends to place "flea" on his bare back, then runs off stage yelling.]
BOY: Hang on, Harry! [Looks over shoulder while running offstage.]
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RINGMASTER: [Relieved.] He made it! And now Hiram and Hillary will perform their world famous trapeze
act. Hillary will make a triple somersault and Hiram will catch her.
[Boys hold up trapeze made of soda straws with a string through them. Two boys each hold one. Third boy
places "flea" on trapeze and begin to swing it.]
RINGMASTER: There they go! Watch them swing! Hillary lets go, she's turning a somersault. One, two,
three, and Hiram catch.. er.. misses her!
[Boys begin looking for Hillary on the floor.]
BOY: There she is! Points to floor near second boy.]
SECOND BOY: Where? [Takes a step where other boy pointed.]
BOY: You just stepped on her! Oh well, she needed more practice, anyway. Say, [to Ringmaster] we have
another flea act for you. He's a man eating flea! [Opens box] Oops, he got away!
[Ringmaster begins to scratch frantically, yells help several times, and runs off stage. (Preferably into
audience. ;) )
BOYS: [Chasing him] Hey! Bring back our flea! We want our flea!
[Curtain]
-- From the Theodore Roosevelt Council 1989 Powwow Book. Thanks to Chuck Bramlet, ASM Troop 323,
Thunderbird District, Grand Canyon Council, Phoenix, Az
Flora the Flea
Cast: Performer
The performer is putting his trained flea Flora through all her tricks, explaining all her tricks as she does them.
His eyes follow every flip, jump, etc. as she performs and lands back in his hand. The he asks her to jump to the
ceiling. His eyes lose her and she doesn't return. He looks high and low (perhaps with the help of a friend) but
can't find her. Finally he looks in someone's hair.
Performer: (Delighted) Flora! There you are! I'm so glad to have you back. (looks more closely.) But say ...
this isn't Flora!
Alternate Ending ... when Flora has done all her tricks,
Performer: Let's hear a big round of applause for Flora! (Begins to clap, then stops, horrified, realizing what
he's done.)
Fly in the Soup
Customer: Waiter, waiter, there's a fly in my soup !
Waiter : (Enters, very snooty, peering into the soup) Oh, yes, you are right sir. That will be an extra 25 cents
for the meat.
Customer: But waiter, he's swimming all over the top !
Waiter : (Still snooty) You are right, sir. It doesn't know it's a fly, sir. It's doing the Butterfly stroke.
Customer: Well, I think it must be an Australian !
Waiter : Why do you say that sir ?
Customer: BECAUSE IT'S DOWN UNDER NOW !
Flying High
Boys on a flight to Germany or other destination. They act up and really give the stewardess or steward (den
leader, 11 year old patrol leader etc.) a hard time. Finally, one of them bumps into her/him and knocks a tray on
him/her. The steward/stewardess smiles and says, "Why don't you boys just run outside and play."
Fly in the Soup
Customer: Waiter, waiter, there's a fly in my soup !
Waiter: (Enters, very snooty, peering into the soup) Oh, yes, you are right sir. That will be an extra 25 cents
for the meat.
Customer: But waiter, he's swimming all over the top !
Waiter: (Still snooty) You are right, sir. It doesn't know it's a fly, sir. It's doing the Butterfly stroke.
Customer: Well, I think it must be an Australian !
Waiter : Why do you say that sir ?
Customer: BECAUSE IT'S DOWN UNDER NOW !
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Food, Water & Mirror on the Sahara
An easy 2-person skit if you have only one person who's thirsty.
Cast: 2 or 3 People, cup of water, combs, Narrator
Setting: Sahara Desert
Narrator: Here are some poor, thirsty men on the desert who've been stranded on the desert for days. Let's
watch.
Two or three people are crawling, calling out for water. Time to really ham it up. Finally, they see the cup of
water and stagger for it, reaching out. Finally, they get to the water and,
People: Ahhhh! (Relieved -- they take out combs, dip them in water and begin to comb hair.)
The Fortune Teller
This is a campfire skit. You can plan it carefully if you want. If you have a good spontaneous actor, he might
be able to ad-lib responses to each object presented to him, without advance planning. The Announcer should
always tell the audience what object is given to the Fortune Teller, because they usually will not be able to see
clearly.
The Skit
A small tent is set up, with an old lady sitting in front of it. This can be a Scout wrapped up in a blanket, who
speaks with an old lady's voice. An Announcer introduces her as a very accurate teller of fortunes who can predict
a person's future by touching anything belonging to the person.
The Announcer calls up a series of Scouts. He asks the first Scout what he has brought, and the Scout
produces a pencil. The Announcer hands the pencil to the Fortune Teller and asks her to tell the future of the
owner. The Fortune Teller waves her hands and mumbles some words and then predicts that the owner will
become a writer.
The scene is repeated. A Scout produces a comb from his pocket, and the Fortune Teller predicts that he will
become a hairdresser. A third Scout has a dollar, and she predicts that he will become a successful banker.
After several of these, the Scapegoat is summoned from the audience. The announcer asks what he has to
show the Fortune Teller. No matter what the Scapegoat suggests, the Announcer says it is not good enough.
Either it has been done before, or it is too easy, or "That's no fun!", or any other reason. Finally, the Announcer
suggests that the Scapegoat try his shoe, and makes him take it off.
The shoe is handed to the Fortuneteller, who repeats her mumbo jumbo. (If the Fortune Teller is a good
pantomime, this is a wonderful opportunity to make faces, hold her nose, etc.) She then announces, "You will take
a long walk in the woods!" She throws the shoe far into the woods.
Four Leaf Clover
A person finds a four leaf clover. He feels sure that it will bring him good luck. Another person runs into him.
They accuse each other of running into each other. They start hitting each other. A policeman comes along, the
other guy accuses the lucky person. The lucky person is hauled off to jail. The lucky person reappears,
disgruntled and unhappy. Garbage is dumped on him as he walks along and gets fined by a policeman for
littering. The lucky man throws away the four leaf clover. Another finds it. The former lucky man comes back on
stage. The person who found the four leaf runs on stage saying he just won a million dollars and has good luck
since he found it. The former lucky man slumps down, groans, and begins to cry.
The Four Seasons
The narrator narrates, everyone else is volunteers.
"I need eleven volunteers for this skit."
"This skit is called the Four Seasons. You three are trees. You three are leaves in trees, get up in the trees.
You're poison ivy, cling to the roots of one of the trees. You're tree's blood, you run through the trees. You two
are birds, flit from tree to tree and sing. And you're the babbling brook. You have to babble."
"Babble babble babble babble ..."
"In the spring, the leaves come out on the trees. The birds flit from tree to tree."
"In the summer, the leaves open up and the sun shines down on the forest. The birds form flocks"
"In the fall, the leaves drop from the trees. The birds fly away south."
"In the winter, the brook freezes and stops babbling. All seems still in the forest. But beneath it all there is still
life. Look! The sap is still running!"
-- Thanks to Bob Jenkins
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Fred the Trained Flea
"Here in my hand is Fred the Trained Flea. Fred will perform for you some amazing feats. Watch closely."
"Fred, do jumping jacks! Very good! Cheer, everyone!"
"Fred, do a somersault!"
"Fred, do a high jump!" Watch him go way up, then back down.
"Now Fred will do a long jump. I need a volunteer to catch Fred." Pick a scoutmaster, or someone in authority.
"Fred, do a long jump!" Watch Fred jump to the volunteer "Oh! He seems to have jumped into your hair!"
Walk over to the volunteer, start picking through their hair. "Here we are .. no, that's not Fred." toss the flea
over your shoulder "Ah! No, that's not Fred." "That's not Fred." "Fred, are you in there?" "That's not Fred either."
"Boy, there's a lot of fleas in here." "Fred? Fred?" ...
-- Thanks to Bob Jenkins
Friends of Years
Three guys are sitting on a park bench. Goober is quietly reading, Gomer is pretending to swim in a lake
(jumps off bench and swims around). Gopher is pretending to be fishing, reeling fish after fish. Policeman comes
in and watches them. Policeman asks Goober if he knows the other two men. Goober says they are his friends.
The policeman thinks Goober ought to take care of his friends. Goober says okay and asks the others to climb
into his boat. Goober pretends to row off stage (the policeman staring after them, shaking his head in disbelief).
The Frightened Hunter
Cast: Story teller, hunter, game warden
The story teller tells the story, while the hunter pantomimes the story and his actions. The game warden
comes in on cue.
Story Teller: There once was this hunter who was hunting for several years in the same location. Every year,
he would see a deer grazing on the edge of a cliff, which was just outside the allowed hunting zone. The deer
would never come into the hunting zone. Now this was a very big deer, and would have been a wonderful prize.
But the hunter was always unsure, and didn't want to lose his license. Finally one year, the hunter decided that he
was going to shoot the deer anyway, as he wasn't having much luck. He went up to the deer, saw that it was
dead, and threw it over his right shoulder, then put his gun over his left shoulder. All of a sudden, the game
warder came up to him.
Game Warden: Excuse me, sir, I was just watching you. What's that over your shoulder?
Hunter: (looking over left shoulder) That's my hunting rifle.
Game Warden: And what's that over your other shoulder?
Hunter: (looking over right shoulder, and shakes off the deer) AAHHHHHH!
Game Show
The skit starts out with a couple of campers (or scouts in your case) asking for some volunteers from the
audience (parents will do JUST fine...evil grin).
The volunteers are then removed from the room by one of the scouts in charge of the 'Game Show' (thank you
Vanna...)
After the volunteers have been removed, the 'Game' is set up. Two tables (the folding type work VERY well)
are covered with sleeping bags and balls of various descriptions are placed under buckets on these tables, the
catch is that in between the two tables a person (another scout perhaps) is kneeling with his head under a bucket
to resemble the other buckets (of course this is well hidden with sleeping bags, or sheets or what ever you have
handy) The tables are then moved close together to further hide the fact that there is anyone under the table, and
don't forget to cover the front of the table so that the participant, or victim as it were, cannot see under the tables.
Bring in the first contestant...
It is then that the 'Game' is described to the contestant. He/she is to make his/her way down the line of
buckets picking up each bucket and naming the ball under the bucket. Give some time record to be beaten. Then
as they make their way down the line and eventually pick up the bucket off of the table under which the scout is
hiding, the scout should yell/scream etc. to further the shock value.
Bring in the next contestant...etc
This skit is generally really effective and is good for a few laughs if nothing else.
-- Thanks to James Brezina
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Gathering of the Nuts I
An announcer asks if the audience will help with the squirrel's harvest. Several boys dressed up like squirrels
with paper ears, tails, and brown clothes go out into the audience bring back people known for their crazy
behavior. They are gathered on the stage and the announcer says that the title of the skit will be, "The Gathering
of the Nuts."
Gathering of the Nuts II
Vincent: I am the famous artist, Vincent Van Go Go. I have come here this evening at great expense to
create one of my living nature paintings which will express the atmosphere of this camp ! First I am going to need
some trees. (Two trees are selected from the participants in the audience, and are directed where to stand. They
wave their arms gently.)
Vincent: Now I will need some birds to twitter among the trees.
(Three birds are selected and they move around the trees making twittering sounds.)
Vincent: (Stands back to view scene) Perhaps a sun to shine on everything. (A tall participant stands on a
bench and smiles brightly.)
Vincent: (Again viewing) It's not right yet. I know, some rabbits hopping around. (Assistant Leaders are
chosen for rabbits)
Vincent: One last touch. A babbling brook. Scouter, will you be the brook, you're always babbling ? (The
brook takes his place.)
Vincent: (Turns to audience) There it is, another Vincent Van Go Go original nature scene. I call it "The
Gathering of the Nuts."
The General Store
The scene is a general store, with the Storekeeper behind the counter. The counter is easily represented by a
long table with a few items piled on it.
Behind the Storekeeper is a curtain, which conceals another Scout, the Storekeeper's Son. He has a full
change of clothes with him.
The Skit
The Storekeeper introduces himself. He explains that this is his store and his Son helps him to run it. He is
very proud of how hard he works to satisfy every customer, no matter what the customer wants.
A customer enters, walks up to the counter, and asks for a hat. The Storekeeper turns and calls out, "Hey
Son, I need a hat." The curtain moves, and a hand reaches through with a hat. The customer admires it, and they
agree on a price. The customer pays, puts on the hat, and walks out acting pleased.
Other customers repeat the process for a jacket, a shirt, shoes, socks, and a pair of pants. Each time, there
is more movement of the curtain, and a longer delay before the clothing is handed through the curtain. There are
sounds of grumbling, and the Storekeeper reminds his son about their commitment to sell whatever the customer
needs.
The last customer walks in hesitantly and asks in embarrassed tones for underwear. The Storekeeper does
not hear him, and makes him repeat it until everybody can hear clearly. Finally he says, "Oh of course.
Underwear! Son, we need some underwear." Nothing happens.
The Storekeeper repeats his request several times, each time emphasizing the word, "Underwear." There is
no answer. He apologizes to his customer for his lazy son, and says he will get the underwear himself. He
stomps off behind the curtain.
The curtain shakes, and we hear, "No, Pa! No, Pa! No!" The Son runs through the curtain and across the
stage wearing only underpants.
The Ghost of Midnight
This one is similar to the Ghost With One Black Eye, but each is different enough to merit their own title (after
all, going through all of the skits, you'll realize that many skits are simple variations on another.)
Cast: Ghost, Family asleep in house
Setting: House at Night
Ghost: (Going up to Mom, wakes her up -- uses scary ghost voice.) I am the Ghost of Midnight!
Mom: Ahhh!
Ghost: (To Dad -- same thing.) I am the Ghost of Midnight!
Dad: I'm getting out of here!
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Ghost: (To son.) I am the Ghost of Midnight!
Son: Help! Mommy!
Ghost: (To daughter.) I am the Ghost of Midnight!
Daughter: (Looks at watch.) Aww, shut up! It's only 11:45!
Ghost With One Black Eye
Cast: Ghost, 3 Pedestrians
Setting: City Street
#1: (Bends over; picks up coin.) Wow! A loony!
Ghost: (Comes out; scary voice.) I am the Ghost with one black eye!
(#1 scared; drops loony; runs away)
#2: (Bends over; picks up coin.) Wow! A dollar!
Ghost: (comes out) I am the Ghost with one black eye!
(#2 scared; drops dollar; runs away)
#3: (Bends over; picks up coin.) Wow! Money!
Ghost: (Comes out.) I am the Ghost with one black eye!
#3: Keep it up, and you'll get another!
Ghostcatchers
Two guys start a ghost catching business. They go to this house and can't get rid of the ghost. The ghost
finally leaves because one of the guys sings very badly and off key. The ghost can't stand it and leaves.
Giant Worm
On stage you have a boy concealed in a sleeping bag that is open on both ends, he is the Giant worm.
Several "hikers" happen upon the worm. The hikers are eating and carrying with them a supply of candy bars.
They look at each other in amazement ask each other "I wonder what he eats" The hikers hold some candy bars
near the mouth of the worm. The worm gobbles up the candy bars wrappers and all. Then the worm quickly
discards empty wrappers form the other end.(stuff happens). The hikers run away. Another group of hikers comes
along drinking soft drinks and repeats the routine. The third group comes along with nothing to eat or drink. this
group should have your smallest scout. this group also ponders what this giant worm would et. At that moment
the worm gobbles the smallest scout. Then discards a pair of pants and shirt out the other end. The worm walks
off with the eaten scout under the sleeping bag. The hikers run away.
Glass of Water
There is a glass of water in the middle of the stage. First scout crawls across the floor crying for water. He
dies dramatically shortly after beginning his crawl. The second person dies just short of the glass of water. The
third person on his last bit of strength really hams up his desperation as much as he can. He reaches the water,
takes out a comb, grooms his hair with the water, sighs with relief and goes off stage.
Go Cart
(One participant is on hands and knees as the 'Go Cart')
Driver : Oh, this fool Go Cart is always giving me trouble ! Now the front wheel has come off. (Selects
member of audience) Would you come over and give me a hand. Thanks. (Selected person may have some
comments to respond to - then they are led to the cart.)
Driver : Here, if you would just be the wheel I need. That's right, get down on your hands and knees up there
and be the front wheel. Now let me try it again. (Driver gets on car, tries to start it up.)
Go Cart: (Makes sputtering noises, starts, moves forward, then sags and sputters out.)
Driver : Now what is it ? (Driver moves to rear, lifts cart, lets go and cart sags again.)
Driver : Now that old suspension has gone, I need more help. (Selects someone else) Please come over
here and be the suspension. That's right, just hold the back end up there. Now I'll try it again. (Gets on car, starts
engine.)
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Go Cart: (Sputters to life, moves forward, wobbles, and stops)
Driver : (Getting off) Oh, no. Now the rear wheel is loose. I'll go and get more help. (Selects more help)
(New help is positioned at rear wheel.)
Driver: This wheel is loose. If you will just hold the wheel (indicates leg) tightly so it doesn't fall off, you'll be a
big help. Thanks. (Driver gets on cart, starts engine)
Go Cart: (Starts up, runs fine, moves forward)
Driver : (Braking to halt) Oh, that's perfect now ! All I needed was a few NUTS to get it going !
Gone Fishin'
Three boys sitting on a bench or chairs in the front of the room. The two boys on outside have fishing poles,
the one in the middle is reading a newspaper. Boys with lines act like they are fishing.
Cub 1: Sure haven't been catching much.
Cub 3: I haven't even had a nibble.
Policeman: (walks on from offstage.) What are you guys doing?
Cub 1: Fishing, sir.
Policeman: Can't you tell this is a pack meeting?
Cub 3: No, it's a pond!
Policeman: (nudges man with paper and he lowers it) Do you know these two characters?
Cub 2: (folds newspaper) Sure, they are my friends.
Policeman: In that case, you'd better get them out of here.
Cub 2: Yes, sir. (reaching behind chair, picks up a paddle and acts as if he is paddling away.)
The Good Samaritan
A Scout walks out from backstage, stumbles, and falls on his face. He struggles noisily to get up, but keeps
his forehead on the floor. He sometimes succeeds in getting into a position with his feet and his forehead on the
floor, and his butt in the air. He rotates in this position, keeping his forehead in one place. He calls for help for
help, repeating "My forehead is stuck!"
As he struggles, other Scouts walk casually past. They ignore him, or look with curiosity, but they do not help.
Finally, a Scout comes running up and heaves the victim to his feet. The victim is effusively grateful, but the
rescuer just looks at his face. He reaches out, plucks something from the victim's forehead, and pops it into his
mouth. "Thanks," he says, "I knew I'd lost my gum somewhere around here!"
Good Soup
Props: a large pot, several spoons, and a floor mop. A chef's hat would also be useful.
Announcer: This scene takes place in the camp Dining Hall.
(Several boys are seated around a large pot, sampling the imaginary contents with the spoons.)
Scott : Boy, this is sure good soup.
Brad : Yep, it's got REAL flavor.
David : Sure is, why it's even better than my Mom makes.
Matthew: Oh yeah. It's the best food I've eaten at camp all week.
Cook : (Enters waving floor mop and shouting) Hey you guys ! Get out of my mop water !!!
Version 2:
Known by the same title in the Leader Magazine.
Cast: Three or four Cubs or Scouts, Cook, Tub
Setting: Kitchen
#1: (Over tub, tasting contents) Good Soup!
#2: Yeah, Good Soup!
#3: I know! Good Soup!
#4: None better than this! Good Soup!
Cook: (Comes running in) Get out of my dishwater!
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Granny! Wake Up!
Cast: Grandson, Granny (2 people), Volunteer, Victim, campfire blanket(s)
Setting: In Granny's Room
Granny is in bed (say on the floor,) and of course is covered with blankets. Your two grannies lie down on
their backs, as close together as possible, with heads in opposite directions. The head of one is exposed, the
other being covered and where Granny's "feet" are.
Try to figure out a way to set up the audience such that it seems like the right way to be addressing Granny,
such as Her being afraid of getting any worse and wanting to be completely covered up to avoid getting cold.
Grandson: (To Granny) Granny! Wake Up! It's time for your pill! (Pause -- no response.) Granny! Wake
Up! Oh no! She may be dead! (Ham it up, boys!) My gosh, I'll need some help! (Get volunteer.) Help me wake
Granny!
Both of them: Granny! Wake UP! Wake Up!
Grandson: Oh, what ever will we do? She needs to take that pill! I think we need more help! (Get victim.)
Will you help us? Just call out with us to wake up Granny.
All of them: GRANNY! WAKE UP! WAKE UP!
Grandson: Maybe if you stand over her and ask her for a sign that she's still alive.
Victim: OK. (Stands over her) Granny! Wake Up! Please! Give me a sign!
Granny's "back end" rises up and hits him on the behind.
Granny's Candy Store
Paint a verbal picture of the various scouts acting as a cash register (person says ching, ching), popcorn
machine (goes pop, pop), door (person holds arms horizontal, swinging saying creak, creak), tree, chair, etc.
Have three guys standing there with no parts to play. Have several scouts come in one at a time, as customers.
They ask Granny for various items of candy; licorice, gum, etc. Finally disgusted, a customer asks what she does
have, and she says all she has left is these three suckers standing in the corner.
The Greatest Spitter in the World
Another 2-person skit you can plug in.
Cast: GSITW, Partner with metal pot (with a bit of water in it) and a pebble
Setting: Boardwalk, Circus, Amusement Park
Separate GSITW and partner by about 15 feet.
Partner: Ladies and Gentlemen! May I present to you the Greatest Spitter in the World! He does all kinds of
tricks with a mere spit! Let him show you the simple spit first!
GSITW sends off a regular spit, which is caught in the pot by the partner. When it's supposed to land, he hits
the bottom of the pot with a secret pebble he holds in his hand.
Partner: Ladies and Gents! That is not all he can do! Watch his fastball!
Again, another spit which immediately "lands" in the pot. Continue with tricks, such as slow spit, high spit,
round the world spit (in which case each turns around, backs facing each other, and the spit takes a while to come
around but indeed does,) curve spit, and so on. Finally,
Partner: Now for his last spit! It's a really difficult spit but we think we have it! It's a high, quadruple axle,
curvy, spring jump spit! We must have absolute silence for this one!
GSITW spits up, partner follows it up, doing 4 spins, it curves side to side, begins to jump up and down in air,
then he seems to lose it ... no, there it is ... he goes side to side, trying to catch it, he trips and spills the water on
the crowd.
Grease
Boy 1: Tonight we are going to be talking about ancient Greece.
(Boy 2 walks on stage carrying a can of Crisco.)
Boy 1: No, no; not that kind of grease. You know Greece, the place.
Boy 2: Oh yeah, that's in back of the cafeteria.
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Green Side Up! Green Side Up!
Characters: A Building Contractor, A Couple (if lady isn't available, changes can be made for one person)
Contractor (inside house): Okay, we need a color for the wall in the living room. (walks to space that is living
room).
Wife: I like white.
Husband: No, how about blue?
Wife: How 'bout tan?
Husband: Okay.
Contractor: Okay...(writes down on paper) um.. wait just a second. The contractor goes to the window looks
out, he opens the window leans out and shouts, "Green side up!"
This repeats for two more rooms. Each time after the Contractor says "Green Side Up", couple converses
between themselves and are not sure about the sanity of the contractor.
After the last room:
Husband: Mr. (whatever you want his name to be), why do you keep yelling "Green Side Up!" outside the
window? We didn't order any green wall paper!?!
Contractor: Oh. I am sorry folks. Boy scout troop is being lead by Scout Master and we just want to make
sure the sod gets laid down right.--
-- Thanks to Josh Small
The Greyhound Bus
Cast: Shopper with a BIG package higher than his head, Pedestrian, People who are Cars and One Bus
Setting: Busy Intersection
Cars and trucks whiz by and don't stop for pedestrians.
Shopper: Excuse me, Sir, could you tell me when there's nothing coming down the street, so that I may
cross?
Pedestrian: Sure. (Pauses until cars stop whizzing by. Bus begins coming down the street.) Now you can
cross. There's only a dog coming. (He begins to cross; bus hits him.)
New Setting: Hospital Ward
Pedestrian: (To shopper in bed) Gee, I'm really sorry about what happened to you.
Shopper: It's all right. These things happen once in a while. But tell me, why did you say there was a dog
coming down the street when it was really a bus?
Pedestrian: Well, it was a Greyhound!
The Growing Machine
The cardboard box needs to be large enough to hold one of the players and various props. "Load" it and push
it on stage, where a narrator explains that this marvelous machine has been invented by tonight's guest,
Professor..., who will demonstrate its tremendous powers. He introduces the professor, who enters carrying a bag
of his props.
The professor explains he has invented a wonderful machine that makes things grow. He proceeds to
demonstrate. He pulls a small piece of paper from his sack, pushes buttons, etc., and throws in the piece of paper
(sound effects, flashing lights). The player inside throws out a paperback book. The demonstration continues with
small ball in, large ball out; piece of string in, hunk of rope out; etc. Finally, the professor throws in a baby doll. The
player inside jumps out in baby clothes, cries "Daddy!", and chases him off stage.
-- Thanks to the Leader Magazine, May 1989
The Hair Cut Machine
The cardboard box needs to be large enough for a player to poke in his head. Face the opening away from the
audience. Set up a striped pole and use a few other barbershop props. The "customer" wears a tight fitting light-
colored bathing cap to hide his hair and, over the cap, a long scraggly wig loose-fitting enough that he can shake it
off when he needs to but well enough anchored that it won't fly off too early.
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Barber is on stage. Customer enters and asks for a hair cut. Barber checks him out, announces he thinks this
is a job for his brand new haircut machine, and convinces the customer to try it. Customer sticks his head into the
back of the box and barber turns it on (sound effects). Customer yells, flails, flops and goes through incredible
contortions, shaking off the wig in the process. Barber, unperturbed, turns off the machine. Customer pulls out
"bald" head and races screaming off stage.
-- Thanks to the Leader Magazine, May 1989
Hairy Hamburger
A man sits down in a restaurant and orders a hamburger. The waiter bring out his hamburger. The man
starts eating his hamburger and finds a hair in it; complains to waiter and another one is brought out. The second
hamburger has a hair in it and is taken back. The third hamburger also has a hair in it. The man gets upset and
demands to see the cook. The cook comes out and the man asks him how he makes his hamburgers. The cook
says that all he does is roll the meat and demonstrates making patties by placing the meat under his arm and
squeezes.
Harlem Globetrotters
Three scouts are doing laundry, each is sitting behind a bucket which holds his "laundry". Two of the buckets
really have water and a rag or two. All three work at scrubbing and wringing water from their laundry for a few
seconds. One sitting on the end shakes the water from his hands getting his neighbor slightly wet. This provokes
the scout in the middle who retaliates with a splash back ... escalate in comedic fashion till the one on the end
throws a wet rag at the face of the "scout" in the middle who ducks. The rag sails on till it smacks the scout on the
far end (previously not involved in the water fight) in the face. The smack-ee picks up his bucket to dump on the
others who take flight into the audience.
The Punch line: When the actors are in the crowd the smack-ee tosses the contents of his bucket in a wide
arc over as much of the audience as possible. In the version I saw the bucket was filled with pieces of newspaper
but in a Scouting setting a bucket full of leaves would work just a well. If the actors have a little talent and practice
this can be extremely funny.
Have You Seen my Belly Button?
Cast: Dog owner, Passengers on bus, stuffed animal
Setting: City Bus
Owner goes around on the bus asking people if they've seen his Belly Button. Some ignore him, women gasp,
people are horrified, some respond, "The nerve of him!" "How crude!" "What a rude person!" Finally he spots the
toy and exclaims,
Person: Ah! Belly Button! There you are, you bad dog!
The Heart Attack
Cast: Heart Attack Victim, 2 "Rescuers"
Setting: City Street
HAV is walking down the street and all of a sudden, he falls to the ground, holding his chest. Two men come
up and seeing this, they begin CPR.
#1: Mister! (Claps hands.) Hmm. Check for breathing! I'll check for a pulse! (nothing) We need to do CPR.
Give AR!
#2: (Does two breaths)
#1: (Pumping chest, counting aloud) 1,2,3,4....15! Again!
(Repeats 3 times; then checks; then.)
#1: Okay -- check for breathing, and I'll check for a pulse! (They check.)
Nothing! Switch!
All THREE, including victim, switch places!
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Heaven's Gate
You can get your favorite leader or friend with this one.
Need: 5 or more scouts (1 is an announcer, 1 is an Angel).
Announcer: Here we are at the Gates of Heaven.
Scout 1: (Walks up to angel at gate) Hello, I see I've come to Heaven.
Angel: Well, you're not in yet ! First you've got to tell me how you suffered on Earth.
Scout 1: Well, I spent a week eating camp food.
Angel: I'm sorry, you haven't suffered enough. (Scout 1 exits dejectedly.)
Scout 2: (Enters) Hi, I'm here to get into Heaven.
Angel: Fine, fine. And how have you suffered ?
Scout 2: I went on a long hike and got blisters all over my feet.
Angel: Sorry. That's not enough suffering to get into Heaven. (Scout 2 exits)
Scout 3: (Enters) Can I get into Heaven ?
Angel: How did you suffer ?
Scout 3: I'm in (Pick someone's name who can take a joke) (troop/pack/six/class, etc.)
Angel: Well, come on in !!
-- From The U.S. Scouting Service Project
Herman, The Trained Flea
The trainer has a flea various tricks, when suddenly he loses Herman, his trained flea. He searches around
for Herman, calling for him, eventually a person is brought forward with a flea in his hair. The punch line is, "This
isn't Herman!"
Hiccup for Me
A boy comes out and says something like, "Hic - I can't - Hic - get rid of these Hic-ups". Another person
comes out and asks what wrong. He is told and yells "BOO!" to help the boy get rid of his hiccups. It didn't work.
Several more people try various methods to get rid of the hiccups and they are fail. Last method is tried and
seems to work, but just as he leaves the stage starts hiccuping again, so he falls to the floor in despair.
The Highest Tree climber in the World
Again, this can be a 2-person skit.
Cast: 2 Friends, HTCITW
Setting: Campfire
Tree climber is hidden in the woods and is able to ruffle a bush or tree.
1: You know, they say there's this really good tree climber trying out for the Olympics. I wonder if he's
practicing around here?
2: Call out and see!
1: Hey! Tree Climber! You around here?
Climber: Yep!
1: You practicing?
Climber: Yep!
1: How high are you?
Climber: Oh, not high. About 100 feet.
1: Wow! Can you go higher?
Climber: Yep! (Ruffles tree.) Now I'm at about 200 feet.
1: Fantastic! Can you go higher?
Climber: Yep! (Ruffles tree.) Now I'm at about 275 feet.
1: Neato! Can you go higher?
Climber: Yep! (Ruffles tree.) Now I'm at about 325 feet.
1: Great! Can you go higher?
Climber: Yep! (Ruffles tree.) Now I'm at about 400 feet.
1: Gee! I'm amazed!
2: Excuse me, Sir, but I have a book here that says that the highest tree in the world is only 360 feet high!
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Climber: Ahhhhhh!!!!!! (Thump!)
A Hot Meal!
This one is just too gross. Don't read this one while eating lunch!
Version 1:
Cast: 3 Lost Campers
Setting: Woods
#1: Boy, am I hungry! We haven't eaten in days!
#2: Me too.
#3: And I would just love a hot meal.
#1: (Looking to ground) Wow! A rabbit! Jump it! (#1 & 2 jump it and catch it; they start to eat it.)
#2: (Looking back at #3) Would you like some?
#3: No thanks, I'm waiting for a hot meal.
#1: Suit yourself.
(A little later)
#2: Hey! A squirrel! Get it!
(#1 & 2 get it and start tearing it apart)
#1: (To #3) Would you like a morsel?
#3: No thanks, I'm waiting for a hot meal.
(A little later)
#1: Wow! A moose!
#2: Be very quiet. (#1 & 2 jump it and kill it; they start eating it)
#1: Look, there's plenty here, we don't need to keep it all to ourselves, even if we did get this without your
help. There's too much to eat anyway. Want any?
#3: No thanks, I'm waiting for a hot meal.
#2: Are you sure? You haven't eaten anything for even longer than us two.
#3: No thanks, I'm waiting for a hot meal.
(After a while,)
#1: Boy, I'm stuffed.
#2: Me too. But I think I'm getting sick. (Throws up.)
#1: I'm sick, too. (Throws up.)
#3: Wow! A hot meal!
Version 2:
Cast: 5 People, Cabby
Setting: Outside of Restaurant
#1: Boy, what a meal. I really gorged myself.
#2: Me too.
#3: Eating that much makes it hard to walk. Let's get a cab.
#4: Agreed.
#5: Taxi!
(They all get in.)
Cabby: Get ready for a good ride, boys.
The cabby pantomimes driving, going along like a race driver, swerving from side to side, up and down hills,
does a real roller coaster ride. Sort of like my driving, if you've experienced it. The people swerve left to right with
the driver, all hanging on to dear life and lunch, until they all throw up.
Cabby: Wow! A five course meal!
How do I do That?
There are roughly 255 quintillion quazillion variations of this skit out on the market, including robbers, suicide
pills, car crashes and so on. You may more commonly know this one as "Veech Boton?" I'll give you the version I
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learned and the only non-rancid version I've seen yet. [This is also similar to "Submarine Patrol" here in the Big
Book.]
Version 1:
Cast: 5 Guys kneeling in line (1st is captain, last is dummy)
Setting: Submarine
Captain: (Looking through periscope) Aim torpedo 1!
2: Aim torpedo 1!
3: Aim torpedo 1!
4: Aim torpedo 1!
5: How do I do that?
4: How do I do that?
3: How do I do that?
2: How do I do that?
Captain: With button 1!
And so on down the line.
5: Oh! (Presses button 1.) (Poof!)
Captain: Ahch! We missed!
And so on down the line.
Captain: Fire torpedo 2!
And so on down the line, after which is, "How do I do that?" "With button 2!" on down the line. Continue down
through to torpedo 4 (or 5 or however many,) each time the captain becoming more frustrated and annoyed and
calling the guy names etc. Each exclamation, for the best effect, should be repeated down the line. Finally, they
run out of torpedoes and then...
Captain: The only thing left to do now is to kill myself (shoots himself.)
And so on down the line.
5: How do I do that?
Version 2:
Same kind of situation, but this time it's a bunch of garbage collectors, racing their truck down their route.
Driver: Okay! Try the first one! (They miss.)
Others: Darn! Next time we'll get it right! (And so on at every stop.)
Finally...
Driver: Well, guys, we missed all of the garbage stops. I guess the only honorable thing to do is to pick up the
garbage properly! (And they do.)
How to Make the Team
Two boys, one eats vegetables, exercises, ballerate (ballet & karate), runs (gets a kid to chase him home-
school bully). The other kid eats candy bars, plays baseball with guys. First guy (vegetable eater) makes the
team and the other kid doesn't. The other kid says; "What did I do wrong? Whaaa ! ! !"
How to Wash An Elephant
Before introducing this stunt, choose three people to leave the room. They should not overhear the narrator.
Narrator explains to audience that the stunt is called "How to Wash an Elephant", a classic example in
communications. He tells the following story and pantomimes the motions as he goes.
Narrator: One morning, Farmer Friendly went out to the barn to begin his chores (pantomime walking). He
threw open the barn door, and to his surprise, he found an elephant in his barn (pantomime throwing open door,
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surprise). The farmer didn't know what to do with the elephant so he decided that the first thing to do was to wash
it. He led the elephant from the barn (pick up the elephant's trunk and walking with it over your shoulder, open and
close barn door). He left the elephant near the pump, got a bucket and scrub brush and pumped the bucket full of
water (pantomime the actions). Now he was ready to begin. First he scrubbed the left side (lift up elephant's ear
and wash that). Then he was ready for the stomach (lie down on floor; wriggle under elephant and scrub
underside). Next, the right side (repeat actions as for left side). Then he scrubbed the elephant's face
(pantomime scrubbing between eyes and down length of trunk). Almost done (walk to rear of the elephant,
gingerly lift up tail and quickly scrub there). There, that's done! (Pantomime throwing out rest of water, putting the
brush in bucket and setting bucket beside pump. Take the elephant by his trunk and lead him back to the barn,
open door, lead him in, go out and shut door behind.)
Narrator tells audience he will call people back in, one by one, and pantomime the stunt, without benefit of
narrative. The first person will do what he remembers for the second person, and so on. He will, of course, have
no idea what the motions mean, so it can be very funny. By the time the actions are pantomimed for the third
person, it will be distorted and bear little resemblance to the original version.
After all three have tried their luck, the narrator explains the story and tells them what they were doing.
I Gotta Go Wee
Five guys sleeping in a tent, all in a row. The scoutmaster on one end, the little scout on the other.
The little scout climbs over all the other sleeping scouts, who try to remain asleep, and shakes the
scoutmaster. "Scoutmaster! Scoutmaster! I gotta go wee!"
"Huh? Wha? Go back to sleep." The little scout crawls back over everyone and goes back to sleep for 5
seconds.
The little scout climbs over all the other sleeping scouts, who try to remain asleep, and shakes the
scoutmaster. "Scoutmaster! Scoutmaster! I gotta go wee!"
"Huh? Wha? Go back to sleep." The little scout crawls back over everyone and goes back to sleep for 5
seconds.
The little scout climbs over all the other sleeping scouts, who try to remain asleep, and shakes the
scoutmaster. "Scoutmaster! Scoutmaster! I gotta go wee!"
"OK! OK!", says the scoutmaster, "If you've gotta go, then go."
The little scout stands up and waves his hands in the air: "Weee!!!!"
-- Thanks to Bob Jenkins
Igor
No props are needed, although the actors can make up bits of costumes that emphasize their roles. The evil
professor can wear a long white lab coat. Some rehearsal is wise, to get the most out of each performance.
A large Scout lies stiffly in the middle of the stage. The Professor enters and introduces himself, giving a very
Russian-sounding name. He boasts about his great abilities and how he will prove that he is the greatest scientist
in the world. He has created a monster named Igor, who can obey three different commands! With these
commands, the Professor will control the world.
The Professor is interrupted by a loud knock on the door (from off-stage). A Scout enters, trying to sell a
subscription to home delivery of the local newspaper. The Professor refuses, but the Scout persists. The
Professor turns to the audience and says, "Now you will see what I can do with my monster!"
He turns and points to Igor and says, "Igor! Stand!" Igor slowly stands up. The Professor says, "Igor! Walk!"
Igor stiffly walks toward the Scout.
He says, "Igor! Kill!" Igor reaches out and strangles the Scout, who dies with a great show of anguish.
"Ha! Ha!" says the Professor, "Now you see what I have achieved! Now you know that I can control the world
with Igor and my three commands!" Igor slowly goes back and lies down.
The scene is repeated at least twice more, with a Girl Scout selling cookies, a religious zealot, a vote-seeking
politician, or a door-to-door salesman. Each time, the Professor boasts, he is interrupted by a persistent
salesman, and he uses the three commands. Each salesman is killed off.
The Professor finally comes to the front of the stage, with Igor lying among the bodies behind him. He boasts
again about his three commands, and how he will use them to control the world. All he has to do is say, "Igor!
Stand!" Igor stands.
"Igor! Walk!" Igor walks toward the Professor, who does not notice him.
"Igor! Kill!" Igor kills the Professor, turns, and lies back down.
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I'm Gonna Get You!
Cast: Murderer, BUTTER knife, Jar of peanut butter, Sleeping Family Members
Setting: In House at Night When All Are Asleep
Thief is looking around the house, with a flashlight perhaps and holding the BUTTER knife (anything else
would be overkill, and dangerous) and is always saying, "I'm gonna get you!" in a way that COULD suggest he's
trying to find the members to kill them in their sleep. Be CAREFUL to only make references that are VERY vague.
He goes around in the different rooms of the house, sometimes saying, "Not here," perhaps in reference to
sleeping people. Finally,
Murderer: Ahh! They sure do keep the peanut butter in a crazy place in this house! (Starts to enjoy the PB
using the butter knife.)
I'm Russian!
One of those skits that may be inappropriate.
Cast: 4 Russians, 1 Person late for work
All actors come out one at a time, using Russian accents except the last person.
#1: (Comes out) I'm Russian!
#2: I'm Russian! Thank you! (Bows.)
#3: I'm Russian! Qvestions?
#4: I'm Russian!
#5: I'm late for work and I'm rushin' too!
The Important Papers
The setting can be either a king or a boss in his office who beckons to a courtier or assistant that he wants his
royal or important papers. The person runs in with a sheath of papers, the king or boss quite agitated tosses them
aside and demands that they bring him his important papers. Other people bring in other things one at a time
such as a Boy Scout Handbook etc. the king throws them aside and gets more and more upset demanding that
he have his important papers. At last the some one comes in with a roll of toilet paper (court jester, office boy
etc.). The king knights him or the boss promotes him thanking him profusely and runs off the stage in visible
relief.
The Important Meeting
Scene: Six to eight players sit around a table scattered with papers, a couple of water glasses, etc. They
mime a discussion, some jotting down notes, etc.
Enter the narrator, outfitted as a news reporter. In confidential tones, the reporter explains that this is an
important meeting of the group committee, gathered on this occasion to make some very important decisions.
As the narrator says something like, "Let's see if we can get a bit closer to hear how things are going", the
group at the table add some mumbling and unintelligible arguing to their mime. Occasionally, they punctuate the
din with outbursts such as, "No, no!"; "I disagree!"; "That's better"; "No way!"; "That might work" and the like.
Finally, the hubbub dies, the group settles back. One member stands and announces, "Then it's decided; a
12-slice pizza with olives, mushrooms, lots of cheese, but hold the pepperoni."
All: Agreed!
In the Furniture Store
You need a furniture store salesman and a customer who knows what is happening. Before the salesman can
sell anything, he needs stock. Call for volunteers from the audience: four to lie down to make the rug; three to
crouch as the couch; one or two chairs; a lamp; and most important, one good natured fellow to get down on all
fours as the coffee table. When all are ready, a customer enters and asks to see a couch. The salesman shows
him the furniture, extolling its high quality and low price. He pays particular attention to the coffee table: beautiful,
sturdy, mark and mar-proof, etc.
The customer shows some interest. The salesman pats and wiggles the coffee table to show how firm and
steady it is, then picks up a cup (empty) and says something like, "See this cup of water? Pretend it's coffee.
When it sits on this table, you know it will never spill!" He places the cup between the shoulder blades of the coffee
table and jiggles it gently. "See!" The customer says he'll think about it and leaves. The dejected salesman
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dismisses all the furniture except the coffee table and leaves. The coffee table tries to figure out how he will get
up without spilling what he thinks is a cup of water all over himself. Cheer him on!
The Infantry
A variation of the Viper.
A scout runs in to a camp of soldiers yelling "The infantry is coming! The infantry is five miles away!" The
soldiers look up, mumble, and act nervous.
A scout runs into the camp of soldiers yelling "The infantry is coming! The infantry is one mile away!" The
soldiers stand up and start gathering their gear.
A scout runs into the camp of soldiers yelling "The infantry is coming! They're just over the hill!" All the soldiers
scream and run away, opposite direction that the scout came from.
Two people run in from the direction the scouts came from, carrying an infant tree. They run after the soldiers.
-- Thanks to Bob Jenkins
Version 2:
Cast: 3-4 People, Person carrying a sapling
#1: (Runs in) The Infantry is coming! Go to the bomb shelters!
#2: (A moment later, runs in) The Infantry is coming! Save yourselves!
#3: (A moment later, runs in) The Infantry is coming! Let's help them!
#4: (A moment later, runs in) The Infantry is coming! Let's watch the tanks!
(A moment later)
Person: And here it is, the Infant Tree.
The Injury
One person is laying on the floor. Two other people walk up.
First person: "Hey this guy is hurt." he goes and checks his heart beat.
First person: "No heart beat, help me do CPR"
Second person goes down and starts pumping on the chest and the first guy does the mouth blows. Do this
for a little while.
Second person: "I'm getting kind of tired here I think it is time to switch."
First person: "OK, ready"
At this point the person on the ground gets up, one of the other people goes down and they start doing CPR
again.
There you go, this is a good skit to do with leaders.
-- Thanks to Chris Hennessy
The Inspection
Cast: Leader, 3-4 Kids in messy uniforms, missing hats, inside out, not tucked in, and so on, and One Kid in
perfect, full uniform
Setting: Meeting Hall
Leader: Troop! (Does the sign.) Line up for inspection.
Kid in perfect uniform is at end of line. Leader checks each one, says "Hmm," at each one, writes down
something. Gets to last kid.
Leader: Johnny! You're in perfect uniform! How many times will it take for you to get it right! You make the
others look bad!
Intelligence
Two ditch diggers are digging a ditch when their boss walks by and then just stands around. One digger turns
to the other and ask why they have to do all the work, while the boss gets paid more. The other man does not
know and suggest the he go ask the boss. He then asks the boss, who explains its "intelligence". The worker
asks "what do you mean?. The boss says "let me demonstrate it to you" whereupon he puts his hand against a
tree and tells the worker to hit his hand as hard as he can. When the worker tries, the boss pulls his hand away,
and the worker hits the tree instead. The boss says, "You see that's intelligence, now go back to work!". When he
returns to the ditch, the other man asks him what the answer is. The injured worker explains its "inteelgence". He
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explains to the other worker by putting his hand on the front of his own face and says: "See this hand, hit it as hard
as you can!"
In the Furniture Store
You need a furniture store salesman and a customer who knows what is happening. Before the salesman can
sell anything, he needs stock. Call for volunteers from the audience: four to lie down to make the rug; three to
crouch as the couch; one or two chairs; a lamp; and most important, one good natured fellow to get down on all
fours as the coffee table. When all are ready, a customer enters and asks to see a couch. The salesman shows
him the furniture, extolling its high quality and low price. He pays particular attention to the coffee table: beautiful,
sturdy, mark and mar-proof, etc.
The customer shows some interest. The salesman pats and wiggles the coffee table to show how firm and
steady it is, then picks up a cup (empty) and says something like, "See this cup of water? Pretend it's coffee.
When it sits on this table, you know it will never spill!" He places the cup between the shoulder blades of the coffee
table and jiggles it gently. "See!" The customer says he'll think about it and leaves. The dejected salesman
dismisses all the furniture except the coffee table and leaves. The coffee table tries to figure out how he will get up
without spilling what he thinks is a cup of water all over himself. Cheer him on! ---
-- Thanks to the Leader Magazine, January 1990
The Invisible Bench
Need: 4 (or more) scouts .
First boy is squatting as though sitting on an invisible bench. The second boy comes in and asks what the first
is doing.
"I'm sitting on the invisible bench."
"Can I join you?"
"Sure, there's plenty of room."
Second boy pretends to sit.
A third boy comes along, and the scene repeats.
Go on for as many boys as you want.
When the last boy comes along, asks and is answered, he says "But I moved it over there this morning!"
AAAAHHHHHH!!!! All seated boys fall down.
-- Thanks to Richard A Quinnell, Pack 609 Monterey Bay Area Council
Is a Train Passing Today?
Otherwise known as "Is The Train Comin'?" in the Leader Magazine. One of those skits rarely done yet quite
funny if done right.
Cast: Grandma, Grandpa
Setting: Train Station
Grandma: (In old voice) Grandpa, is a train passing from the south today?
Grandpa: (Hobbles over to station, checks the schedule, looks to the south, returns, and in an old voice,) No,
Grandma.
Grandma: Grandpa, is a train passing from the north today?
Grandpa: (Hobbles over to station, checks the schedule, looks to the north, returns.) No, Grandma.
Grandma: Grandpa, is a train passing from the east today?
Grandpa: (Hobbles over to station, checks the schedule, looks to the east, returns.) No, Grandma.
Grandma: Grandpa, is a train passing from the west today?
Grandpa: (Hobbles over to station, checks the schedule, looks to the west, returns.) No, Grandma.
Grandma: Good. We can cross the tracks now.
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Is Captain Kidd Afraid of Himself?
Cast: Captain Kidd, Other people walking by, Mirror
Setting: Street
C.K.: I'm the roughest, toughest, meanest, ugliest pirate to roam the seas. Watch this. (Tries to scare first
man walking by.)
Man: I'm not scared of you!
C.K. keeps on trying to scare people going to work ("Late for work!") walking the dog (Dog runs up and starts
to play with C.K.) kids (they laugh, "Hey! Halloween isn't till next month!") and so on. Finally, he's quite dismayed.
C.K.: Hmm. Maybe I'm not so scary after all. Maybe I should go into movies. (Looks at himself in the mirror.)
Ahhh! (Runs away scared.)
Is It Time Yet?
Version 1:
Have several boys standing in a line (facing the audience) with one arm on the next boys shoulder. The first
boy in line looks at the second and asks the second boy, "IS it time yet?" The second boy asks the third boy the
same question and so on down the line. The boy at the end of the line looks at his watch and says to the boy next
to him, "No, its not time yet," and this continues on up the line to the first boy in the line again with each boy saying
it in turn. This can continue a couple times; then when it gets to the last boy, he says, "It's time!" and when the
message gets back to the first boy each boy moves his arm from the other's shoulder and puts his other arm on
the boy next to him.
Version 2:
Line of 5-8 Scouts standing with left foot crossed over right, right arm crossed over left.
First Scout in line asks: "IS IT TIME YET?" -
Second Scout asks third, etc down the line.
Last Scout says: "NO"
Word is passed back to the first Scout, one Scout at a time.
After a lonnnnnnnng pause, First Scout asks: "IS IT TIME YET?"
It goes down the line as before.
Last Scout says: "NO"
Again and the word is passed back.
Another long pause...............
First Scout asks again: "IS IT TIME YET?" etc and,
Last Scout says: "YES" the answer is passed back. Just after the first Scout gets the word, they all change to
right foot over left and left arm over right.
Version 3:
Text from Best of Leader Magazine Cut Out pages:
Six to ten players sit in a line facing the audience, legs stretched out in front of them, left leg crossed over right
at the ankle. The player at one end asks the one beside him, "Is it time yet?" The question passes from person to
person down the line. The last player looks at his watch and tells the person beside him, "No, not yet." The reply
passes from player to player back up the line to the first person. Players send question and answer up and down
the line three or four times, each time becoming more and more impatient and fidgety. Finally, the end player
replies, "Yes, it's time now." The news passes from one to another up the line to the first player who says, "Oh,
thank goodness!" At this point, all the players uncross their legs and re-cross them right over left.
I Gotta Go Weee!
Cast: Patrol asleep (ie. lying down) in tent
Scout 1: Scouter, I gotta go wee!
Scouter: Go back to sleep.
Scout 1: (A little later) Scouter, I gotta go wee!
Scouter: Go back to sleep!
Other Scouts wake up and mumble, "Aw, keep quiet," "Stop whining," "You're keeping us awake," etc.
Scout 1: (A little later) Scouter, I gotta go wee!
Scouter: (Annoyed) Go back to sleep!
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